Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Gun Control

Before I begin... I want to address a couple of things I've seen over and over on social networking sites and in the comments of many, many articles in the wake of the recent mass shootings in Oregon and Connecticut.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
This is true. It's also true that heroin doesn't inject itself into anyone's body, but we can't buy heroin at the local CrapMart or at a big old drug show down at the sale barn on a Saturday or (so far as we know) from an online store set up by the Mormon church.

If only the victims in Connecticut had been armed, this tragedy would have been prevented.
One victim was armed - heavily armed. The first one. The shooter's mother. She was killed with her own gun, in her own home and then it was her guns used to kill all of the other slain victims. That she was armed didn't save her life or prevent the tragedy. Quite the opposite. The killer planned what he did - he may have been nuts, but he wasn't stupid. His plan included an advantage for himself. At the school, even if every member of the faculty had been armed, the killer still had an advantage - he knew the attack was coming, he had weapons in hand ready to fire, he was wearing clothing designed to protect himself from bullets, he carried weapons that fired rapidly and did not require aiming or reloading to do their deadly job well. The faculty were tending to their jobs with no clue that anything bad was about to happen. They were attired in normal clothing. Their weapons would have been put away with safeties or locks on so the children couldn't accidentally get hold of them and harm themselves or their classmates. With the shooter's weapon requiring no pause to reload or to aim or to fire again, there was no window of time, however small, for a faculty member, armed or not, to have gained an advantage.

You can't get the guns out of the hands of criminals... they'll always find a way.
True. But, nobody's suggesting that we can. No law exists that effectively prevents everyone from breaking it. There is no substance or product banned that effectively prevents everyone from obtaining or manufacturing it. If a law had to be 100% effective to achieving its goal, we would have no laws and/or no jails/prisons.

...and that leads me to what I wanted to say, today.

As the discussion of gun control and whether it violates the 2nd amendment to ban or make it harder to legally possess a specific type of weapon heats up, please bear in mind that we already draw a line as to what "arms" are included in that right. The issue is not whether to draw a line where none exists, but whether to move the line, slightly.

Example: I don't have the right to own a nuclear weapon. If I so much as seek to obtain one or to purchase the components necessary to manufacture one, I will go to prison. I don't even have to succeed in obtaining anything at all. But, nuclear weapons are "arms." They simply happen to be arms on the other side of the line drawn in our legislation. (sidenote: Curiously, a few of those on the "anything should be legal for us to own" side will argue just as adamantly that we should dictate to other nations what arms their militaries are and are not allowed to possess.)

There is NO solution that will end ALL gun violence or take the most efficient killing machines out of the hands of criminals and terrorists. Everyone on the "let's make it harder for the worst of the worst to be obtained" side of the issue knows this. We are not suggesting that moving the line will forever end all gun violence & have us all huddled together in a planetary group hug singing kum bay yah in perfect harmony and buying the world a Coke.

The goal in moving the line or at least putting more steps in place to legally obtain rapid fire, large clip/magazine/drum automatic assault weapons is to slow down the nutjobs who appear to pose no serious mortal threat one day, but prove they've snapped in the worst possible way the next. The goal is simply to make it harder for those who snap to find, afford & obtain weapons that will put them at a steep advantage in any situation (including those where an entire school administration or theatre or mall staff is packing.)

If the gunman in CT would have had to stop to reload or if he'd had to fire his shots one at a time instead of in rapid fire bursts, someone might have been able to get an advantage in that small window of time... whether it was someone with a weapon they could get to in the turmoil or someone who wasn't armed with anything more than an adrenaline rush & instinct. It still creates only a "maybe" of a chance - but there was zero chance with the weaponry this gunman was carrying.

The criminals & terrorists haven't snapped. They are criminals and terrorists every day for decades of their lives and they have access to things the rest of us don't. They will always have time on their side to find ways to obtain or manufacture whatever they want. By contrast, the nutjobs who walk into schools or theatres or malls to open fire on large groups of innocents don't have that advantage. They go from being just fine or even "deeply troubled but not seriously planning to commit mass murder" to deciding to do these horrific things and then perpetrating them in a relatively short period of time. Their time frame for preparation is hours, days, even months of planning - usually alone & isolated or with a single partner & most of them have no more access to weapons and ammo than any sane law abiding citizen. If the guns aren't available on the legitimate market, SOME of them won't be able to find a way to obtain them at all. Will this stop them? No. But it will lead some of them to choose lesser weapons so there's at least some chance of a potential victim or a trained and armed security person gaining an advantage to prevent or stop the carnage.

Unlike criminals and terrorists, the nutjobs generally don't have decades of criminal/terrorist activity & access to networks/conduits that have been established over generations & often stretch across the globe. They have gun shows, CrapMart, legitimate internet dealers, pawn shops, sporting goods stores and Mommy's gun cabinet. That's why the bulk of the mass shootings over the last several years have involved LEGALLY obtained weapons, while the gang bangers & druglords who are caught are usually tried on illegal-weapons charges in addition to charges related to their other illegal activities. We can't stop all gun violence - but this one particular kind of violence... there are ways we can slow it down to give intended victims a CHANCE of gaining an advantage. ...And if we can slow them down, maybe we can put something in place to let us catch some of them in the planning stages BEFORE there's a heart breaking death toll... something similar to whatever they're doing that would get us caught and stopped before we obtained a nuclear device.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Chess Club Strikes Again & Rogue Elf Belches Tune

911 dispatchers received numerous calls shortly after 11:30pm, last evening, from motorists who reported seeing what they alleged to be the TV travel gnome doing a bodacious truck-surfing keg stand on a moving beer tanker said to be travelling north east on the 101, just west of the Seaport Blvd exit. Officials are dismissing the reports as another wacky chess club prank from students at the city college.

As many long time area residents remember, the city college chess club is notorious for a prank they pulled in 1982, when members loosened all the salt shaker lids in a popular fast food hamburger restaurant.

In unrelated news, massive crowds gathered, yet again, at Zazzle, last night, hoping to glimpse the intoxicated rogue elf who has used magic dust to embark on midnight joyrides through the aisles of apparel, office ware and gift items on an enchanted shopping cart. Shoppers waved signs in the air, proclaiming love for the little merry maker, thanking him for monumental holiday shopping savings and, in a few cases, offering to bear the elf's children.

One group of onlookers was wearing matching Team Eggnog shirts purchased from what many now believe to be one of the elf's favorite shops at Zazzle. We asked them what the shirt was about. "It's from his favorite shop," explained one member of the group, "and before the North Pole started denying they know him, Santa said the little guy had gotten into the eggnog cabinet." "Plus, we're his biggest fans!" added a second member of the group.

Team Eggnog Shirt

The crowds were not disappointed as the elf arrived, right on schedule, went straight to his shopping cart sleigh, sprinkled it with magic powder, said "12DAILYDEAL9'" and took flight. Shoppers looked on in amazement as the elf circled overhead belching out three verses of "Deck the Halls" in astoundingly perfect pitch. "It smells like a brewery in here, thanks to all that belching" said one onlooker, "but that was AWESOME!!!"

Shortly after the elf's departure, shoppers around the world began taking advantage of the night's magic word 12DAILYDEAL9 to save 40% off mugs & electronics cases and 15% off everything else in thousands of Zazzle shops.

That the magic has worn off at 11:59pm PST each night, precisely 24 hours after it has been applied to the shopping cart, seems to confirm early reports that the elf is indeed one of Santa's elves and that the fur lined red velvet pouch contains Santa's magic flying sleigh dust, taken from the North Pole upon the elf's escape. The North Pole, continues to deny the elf is one of theirs.

Officials are urging shoppers who want to save 40% on mugs, cell phone or tablet cases and 15% on other unique home, office and gift items to test the magic word 12DAILYDEAL9 for themselves before the magic expires at 11:59pm Pacific Standard Time, tonight.

You can try it out in the Christmas Fun shop or any of these fine shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if these shops don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

More Security Footage of Rogue Elf!

If you were waiting for an update, yesterday, on the antics of the rogue elf that has entertained Zazzle shoppers with his nightly midnight joy ride - we apologize. In an attempt to catch up with the elf, to photogragh and interview him, we were camped out in the bushes at the home of a local man who had invited the elf to stop by his porch for a couple of free bottles of peppermint schnapps. We learned, late last night, that the elf had finally appeared approximately 10 minutes after we gave up and left the man's home to wait for the elf at Zazzle HQ, where the elf appeared, right on schedule, sprinkling magic dust on the shopping cart for his joyride and spreading cheer and the overwhelming scent of candy canes throughout the aisles of Zazzle shops.

We regret that we were again unable to photograph the nightly spectacle, due to the throngs of excited shoppers blocking our camera lens with signs proclaiming their love of the elf and thanking him for the monumental holiday shopping savings they've enjoyed since he first began his nightly visits.

We did, however, catch up with ScareBaby, the owner of what seems to be one of the elf's favorite shops, Christmas Fun. She was kind enough to let us roll back her shop's surveillance footage where we were able to obtain this still to share with our readers:

Elf

Shortly after the elf's departure, shoppers around the world began taking advantage of the night's magic word 12DAILYDEAL8 to save 40% off shirts & electronics cases and 15% off everything else in thousands of Zazzle shops.

That the magic has worn off at 11:59pm PST each night, precisely 24 hours after it has been applied to the shopping cart, seems to confirm early reports that the elf is indeed one of Santa's elves and that the fur lined red velvet pouch contains Santa's magic flying sleigh dust, taken from the North Pole upon the elf's escape. The North Pole, continues to deny the elf is one of theirs.

Officials are urging shoppers who want to save 40% on shirts and cell phone or tablet cases and 15% on other cool home, office and gift items to test the magic word 12DAILYDEAL8 for themselves before the magic expires at 11:59pm Pacific Standard Time, tonight.

You can try it out in the Christmas Fun shop or any of these fine shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if these shops don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Monday, December 03, 2012

Live Garden Gnome? and More On Rogue Elf

Police were called to the home of a frantic 63 yr. old widow, late last night after the woman told a 911 dispatcher that one of the statues from her prized garden gnome collection had come to life.

When police arrived, the woman told them that, earlier in the evening, she was cleaning out a storage room in her basement when she discovered that two large jugs of homemade apple juice had been forgotten and had accidentally turned to hard cider. She further explained that alcohol is "the devil's juice" and she didn't want it in her house. She claimed she had set the jugs at the curb for trash collection and didn't think anything more of them until she heard a disturbance at her curb around 10pm., at which time, she looked out her window to witness what she claimed was one of her garden gnomes come to life, chugging the last drop of cider from one of the jugs before sprinkling the second jug with an unknown sparkly substance, mounting the jug like a pony and flying off into the sky on it. Police confirmed the presence of an empty glass jug on the woman's curb, but refused to comment when asked whether they'd be issuing an all points bulletin for the gallivanting garden gnome. The woman, whose identity is being withheld pending notification of her family, passed a breathalyzer and is being held for psychiatric evaluation at a local hospital.

In unrelated news, for the sixth straight night, throngs of holiday shoppers at Zazzle, were delighted by the antics of a drunken elf, alleged to be an escaped North Pole elf on an epic bender. As per his now well established schedule, the intoxicated merry maker arrived just before midnight, sprinkled magic dust on a shopping cart and flew up and down the aisles of countless Zazzle shops. "I always thought a Christmas elf would smell like cookies or hot chocolate," said one eyewitness, "but underneath the heavy stench of alcohol, I swear I smelled a hint of apples!"

The crowds that have gathered in hopes of seeing the elf have grown, each night and several shoppers have taken to holding up signs proclaiming their love and admiration for the elf. One man brought a sign that said, "The next round is on me" with his home address on it. The man later told us the elf had taken the sign from his upreached hands as he flew the cart over the crowd and that he'd be leaving two bottles of peppermint schnapps on his porch for the diminutive toy maker. "I bet he's never tried a liquid candy cane," the man later told reporters, "but I know he's going to love it!"

Shortly after the elf's departure, shoppers around the world began taking advantage of the night's magic word 12DAILYDEAL6 to save 40% off shirts & mugs and 15% off everything else in thousands of Zazzle shops.

That the magic has worn off at 11:59pm PST each night, precisely 24 hours after it has been applied to the shopping cart, seems to confirm early reports that the elf is indeed one of Santa's elves and that the fur lined red velvet pouch contains Santa's magic flying sleigh dust, taken from the North Pole upon the elf's escape. The North Pole, continues to deny the elf is one of theirs.

Officials are encouraging anyone who wishes to save 40% on shirts and mugs or 15% on other cool home, office and gift items to test the magic word 12DAILYDEAL6 for themselves before the magic expires at 11:59pm Pacific Standard Time, tonight.

You can try it out in any of these fine shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if these shops don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Elf Spotted In Surveillance Footage!

If you've been following the ongoing story of the rogue elf on an epic bender and his nightly visits to Zazzle HQ and have been hoping for a glimpse of the drunken merry maker, we have an exciting development in the story!

In looking through surveillance footage from some of the shops he's flown his enchanted shopping cart sleigh through, we believe we have discovered footage of the elf in a rare out-of-the-cart moment.

This still was taken from surveillance footage in the Funny Bowling Shirts shop on Zazzle:
Runaway Christmas Elf

Once again, throngs of shoppers standing vigil, waiting for the inebriated toymaker's return were delighted to witness his joyous midnight ride and take advantage of the night's magic word 12DAILYDEALS5 to get astounding deals on merchandise throughout the giant Zazzle complex of stores.

This is great news for you! Until the Santa magic in the pixie dust sprinkled onto the cart by the elf wears off, you can harness its power to magically get 40% off all ornaments and mugs in my Zazzle shops! AND 15% off everything else! All you have to do is enter the code 12DAILYDEAL5 at checkout! But hurry! Santa's flying sleigh magic only lasts 24hrs and the clock is already ticking! It's set to wear off at 11:59pm PST, tonight!

You can try it out in any of my shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if I don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Rum Cake Heist & Rogue Elf Hijinks

At approximately 9pm Pacific Standard Time, last night, police were called to a popular local bakery, known for its delicious rum cakes. Witnesses reported that what appeared to be a leprechaun had entered, sprinkled glitter on a chair, then flew the chair from table to table, snarfing up the rum cake from their plates, before flying to the kitchen and returning with two full bottles of rum, which he then chugged. "The place is a shambles," said one investigator on the scene. "It's clear that SOMEthing happened here, but before we can determine what really happened, we need to isolate the source of the mass hallucination."

In other news, the North Pole is officially backing off its claims that the drunken elf who has made nightly visits to Zazzle Headquarters is one of their own and is suggesting he might be a cookie baking tree elf. The drunken elf, whose identity remains unknown, has appeared at approximately midnight, each evening, used pixie dust and a magic word to make a shopping cart fly like Santa's sleigh and embarked on a joy ride through the aisles of Zazzle shops. The magic words have enabled millions of holiday shoppers to get unbelievably low prices on Zazzle merchandise using those same magic words for the 24 hours the dust maintains its magic potency.

Anticipating his third nightly visit, millions of eager shoppers hoping for a bargain and a glimpse of the hard partying elf flocked to Zazzle and stood vigil awaiting his arrival. They were not disappointed. As in previous nights, the inebriated merrymaker appeared as expected at approximately midnight. One observer reported that the elf looked disheveled, reeked of rum and was covered from head to toe in what appeared to be cake crumbs.

Immediately after the elf sprinkled the magic dust on the shopping cart, the cry went up among the delighted crowd of holiday shoppers, "12DAILYDEAL3 - the magic word is 12DAILYDEAL3" It was later learned that, until the magic wears off at 11:59pm Pacific Standard Time, this evening, this latest magic word, when entered at checkout after putting things in the magic Zazzle shopping cart will enable shoppers to get a whopping 40% off t-shirts, phone cases and tablet cases and 15% off of everything else.

We're advising shoppers to try the magic word 12DAILYDEAL3 out for themselves in any of these fine shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

Or in any of thousands of other shops at Zazzle.

Happy shopping!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Rogue Elf Strikes Again!

Well, kids and kidettes, that rogue elf wasn't kidding when he told Zazzle shoppers he'd be back! At approximately midnight, pacific standard time, this morning, he returned for his shopping cart sleigh with liquor on his breath and jello stains on his shirt. We don't know whose party he crashed, but from the looks of that elf, it must have been EPIC!

As he did the night before, the drunken merry maker commandeered a shopping cart, sprinkled it with stolen pixie dust to make it fly and zoomed up and down the aisles of Zazzle shops, site wide, spreading joy and laughter! And then, he fell out, told onlookers to keep his sleigh warm for his return and scampered off (in search of more inebriating treats, no doubt!)

Once again, this is great news for you! Until the magic in that pixie dust wears off, you can harness its power to magically get 40% off all shirts (guaranteed not to have Jello stains, btw!) and coffee mugs in my Zazzle shops! AND 15% off everything else! All you have to know is the magic word & how to use it! And thanks to all those witnesses, we have today's magic word for you!

All you have to do is enter the code 12DAILYDEAL2 at checkout! But hurry! Santa's flying sleigh magic only lasts 24hrs and the clock is already ticking! It's set to wear off at 11:59pm PST, tonight!

You can try it out in any of my shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if I don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Tired Excuses

Two over-used phrases I wish politicians from the local level to the national would retire, permanently:

1. "We don't want to re-invent the wheel""
If our ancestors had adopted this same attitude, we'd still be using rollers and a sledge to move things around. The wheel has been re-invented many times and each time, it moved us forward by leaps and bounds.

2. "We don't want to just kick the can down the road"
My problem with this one is that it's just thrown out there with no explanation as to why the can should continue to lie where it is, following a statement that makes it clear that we need the can to be somewhere other than where it lies. Whether we need to kick the can down the road depends on where we need that can to be. Sometimes, "down the road" is the wrong direction, other times, it's exactly the direction the can needs to move if it's ever to reach that final goal. Maybe we can't kick the can all the way to where we need it to be, in one short kicking session, but that doesn't mean we should just leave it where it lies. Kicking it down the road to move it closer to the goal is called "progress." It's what our ancestors did with each improvement of the wheel from its humble beginnings as rollers and sledge through its many re-inventions along the road to becoming the modern version we rely on, today.

Overall, I really just want our elected representatives to stop telling us what they don't want to do and just get to work doing the jobs they asked us to give them.

Drunken Elf Dazzles Shoppers With Midnight Joyride

Breaking: A rogue elf on an epic eggnog bender has escaped from the North Pole with a pouch of Santa's magic pixie dust! Investigators have tracked the elf as far as Zazzle HQ where, at approximately midnight pacific standard time, this morning, the drunken toymaker commandeered a shopping cart and sprinkled it with a pinch of the stolen pixie dust to make it fly. For more than an hour, shoppers in thousands of Zazzle shops witnessed the elf's wild ride through aisles of shirts, playing cards, skateboards, drinkware and hundreds of other home, office and gift items before the inebriated elf did what has been described as a truly awesome loop-de-loop, fell out and then scurried off shouting, "Keep my sleigh warm, kiddies, I'll be back! Woo hoo!"

This is great news for you! Until the magic in that pixie dust wears off, you can harness its power to magically get 40% off all shirts in my Zazzle shops! And 40% off prints & cards! AND 15% off everything else! All you have to know is the magic word & how to use it! And thanks to all those witnesses, we have it for you!

All you have to do is enter the code 12DAILYDEAL1 at checkout! But hurry! Santa's flying sleigh magic only lasts 24hrs and the clock is already ticking! It's set to wear off at 11:59pm PST, tonight!

You can try it out in any of my shops:

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, lgbt, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular lines of Ninja or Mayan Calendar items? This is the shop you'll find them in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if I don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Cyber Tuesday 2012

Happy Cyber Tuesday!

Everything is 30% off* in my shops, today only - until 11:59pst - with checkout code CRAZYHOLIDAY

*note: in regards to postage, the discount is not applied to the face value, only the portion of the price above face value.

If you haven't checked out my shops, before, please do (it's how I finance my lavish lifestyle of extravagances such as eating at least once a day and having a roof over my head when it rains.) Each shop is packed with apparel, housewares, cool things to dress your favorite gadgets in, gift items and more! We carry everything from pacifiers to playing cards. Shirts to speakers. Clocks to cases for your cell or tablet. Mugs to Messenger bags. Well, you get the idea.

Melhi Ink - My primary shop. Liberal politics, Peace, green living, humor/snark, anti-Valentine, pro-divorce, etc.

GearCandy - Image driven designs. Patterns, photos, drawings, etc. Looking for my popular line of Ninja items? This is the shop you'll find him in!

GlibWare - Word/writing driven designs. Slogans, signs, sayings -- plus a couple of old school travel games.

Heirloom Salon - Vintage treasures and antique book illustrations brought to life again for modern day enjoyment.

The Bone Garden - Skulls, skulls and more skulls.

GrimDandy - The lighter side of Halloween - cute monsters, pumpkins, bats and our trademark character, Grim Dandy, himself, in his fancy stovepipe hat. (A few items say Trick or Treat or Happy Halloween on them, but most do not and can be used/worn year round.)

Crenshaw Bros. Alternative Mortuary Solutions - our hilarious line of Mortuary advertising/marketing humor. (examples: Buy a Happy Cadaver kids meal (with free gummi worms!) in the funeral parlour concession stand, Ask about premium scented embalming fluids in lavender, vanilla or new car. Book Crenshaw the Clown to turn your loved one's funeral into a circus!)

Rapture Rejects - Fun gear for all of us sinners who keep getting left behind every time the righteous have a rapture and whose faces don't get eaten off in the zombie apocalypse and who find out that the Mayan doomsday wasn't the end of the world, after all. (There's literally something for everyone in this shop. Heh.)

And if I don't have what you're looking for, I'm sure one of the other fine designers at Zazzle does!

Happy shopping!

Friday, November 09, 2012

Election 2012 Lexicon

Mittmentum: (noun) Hallucinatory sensation of surging rapidly forward/upward experienced by one who is standing still, moving backward, falling or sinking.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Obama DID Say It!

Sorry Mittens, as the debate moderator pointed out, when she fact checked you in real time, before a live television audience of millions of voters,  you were wrong.  Obama DID say it, when and where he said he did.

Oh and looky, here's a T-shirt to commemorate his lovely, strong, PRO-AMERICAN quote:

Obama Rose Garden Quote Shirt

But good for you sticking with a position for more than 10 minutes, Mr. Romney! Your supporters probably wish it wasn't your position to not indulge in fact-checking, but hey, at least you picked SOMEthing to stick with.

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Sneak Abortion Attacks

Off and on for the last few days, I have been working on my daughter's laptop. Apparantly, somebody at her college, where she's a double Finance and Accounting major thought it would be fun to disguise a very nasty virus as a homework assignment. Turns out it was way more fun for them than it is for us trying to undo the damage.

Between that and a wonderful weekend getting to talk to voters from my local party's booth at a busy street festival over the weekend, I have been away from the dull roar of the television speakers and from the blinding glare of my own computer screen, for several hours at a time, over the last several days. ...And sometime during my absence I missed the latest bombshell scientific announcement from Todd "Magical Mystery Uterus" Akin.

According to Mr. Akin, who is the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri, running against Democratic incumbent Claire "Actually Has a Legitimate Uterus" McCaskill, there's been something sinister afoot for a loooong time. Sneaky abortion doctors have been giving abortions to innocent people WHO AREN'T EVEN PREGNANT!!!!

I know, right?! Some of these unwitting innocents might even be MEN! They're almost NEVER pregnant!! This is clearly the story of the century - sure to rock the medical and scientific communities not only to their cores but off their snobby "we know how the human body actually works and that's not possible" high horses.

I am neither a doctor nor a scientist, so, like Mr. Akin, I have absolutely no freaking clue how it is scientifically, medically or anatomically possible to abort a fetus that doesn't exist. But, according to Todd Akin, it's happening, buddy, and it might have happened to YOU, without your knowledge!

How can you be sure a sneaky abortion doctor didn't perform an abortion on you, without your knowledge, when you weren't even pregnant?! Well, lucky for you, my crack team of Melhican Un-scientists came up with a few simple yes or no questions you can ask yourself, privately, to determine whether you have been a victim of a sneak abortion attack when you weren't even pregnant:

Instructions: Answer Yes or No to each question, then use the scoring provided after the quiz, to determine whether you've been a victim of a drive-by fetus-less abortion.

  1. Since the day you entered puberty, have you ever experienced one or more days (not necessarily in a row) that you were NOT pregnant?
  2. Have you ever looked at a clock, only to discover that more time had passed than you thought?
  3. Have you ever had what felt like an abdominal cramp, a stomach ache or a side stitch?
  4. Have you ever had the feeling someone was watching you? OR noticed a stranger actually looking at you?

Scoring:

  • If you answered "PURPLE" to any of these questions, I'd like to thank you for reading my blog, Mr. Akin.
  • If you answered "YES" or "NO" to any of these questions, you can rest easy. You've never had an abortion performed on you, with or without your knowledge, when you were not pregnant. BECAUSE IT ISN'T FRIGGING POSSIBLE TO ABORT A FETUS THAT DOES NOT EXIST. DUH!!!!!!
  • If you answered "Muslim Brotherhood" to any of these questions, for the love of something, somewhere, Ms. Bachmann, please seek professional help and take the anti-psychotic medication the good doctor prescribes you. We're all worried about you, dear.

I hope I have helped ease some worried minds, this morning.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

America Runs On Us.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who has said his job is to convince the 10% of us he sees as easily led sheep to free the 43% of us he considers worthy of freedom from the 47% of us he considers parasites.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who has vowed that on DAY ONE, he will strip 30+ million Americans, including an estimated 2.5 million women and their unborn babies, of the freedom to go to the doctor when they're sick.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who carried signs at rallies to protest that other men should fight for freedom, and who had the opportunity to volunteer to fight for freedom, himself, but instead, went to France to avoid fighting for it.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who has said he will leap at the chance to deny same-gender couples the freedom to marry.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who hired a firm known for perpetrating registration fraud that denied new Democratic registrants the freedom to vote, by pretending to register them, but shredding their voter registration forms, so that when they appear at their polling places to vote, they will discover they are not free to vote, after all and that it is too late to retrieve the freedom stripped from them so that they may make their voices heard from the ballot box.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who admired, to his wealthy benefactors, the razor wire and slave labor conditions of a Chinese factory.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who will take away women's freedom to choose & the right of couples to plan their families.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who said he wishes workers didn't have the freedom to organize.

"America runs on freedom" says the man who didn't care if his outsourcing of jobs to foreign countries and his "harvesting" of successful American companies consigned American workers to the shackles of poverty.

America runs on the blood, sweat, tears, joys, genius, creativity, compassion, ingenuity & tenacity of the American people whose ongoing efforts build, shape, expand, protect and maintain our freedom. We are free because we fight to be free and because we work to remain free. We know that extending freedom to one man does not diminish the freedom of another, but strengthens the freedom of us all. And we know that diminishing the freedom of one man, diminishes the freedom of us all. Together, we are an unstoppable machine. Our mettle never rusts and our engine never stalls. We achieve greatness because we ARE greatness.

WE built freedom and WE are the force that drives freedom. America runs on US.

 

Friday, September 28, 2012

Shorter GOP On The Economy

Shorter GOP on Bush's role in crashing the economy and Obama's progress in restoring it:

It doesn't matter who was behind the wheel when the car went over the cliff, it only matters that the guy pushing it back up the mountain can't push it back up at double the high rate of speed it careened down. He hasn't reached the mountain top, yet, so UP is clearly the wrong direction - we must turn it around and push it the other way.

Well, GOP, it DOES matter who was behind the wheel when the person asking to be our new chauffer is promising to turn that car back around and go hell bent for the ravine, again.

30+ months of job growth, net job gains, unemployment rates slowly but steadily coming down, stocks posting record highs, what would have been Great Depression II averted and the worst recession since the Great Depression ended -- all while the GOP has intentionally put up road block after road block to prevent it. We're not heading the wrong direction and it's time to get the GOP and their road blocks out of the way so the people's work can be done and we can get this economy back to the top, where it belongs.

...And, for the record, GOP: only two things rush up faster than than they trickle down: vomit and wealth.

Once Upon a Time, Romney Had Empathy.

Here's what Romney said to NBC's Ron Allen, yesterday, about RomneyCare and how it proves he has empathy:

“I got everybody in my state insured. One hundred percent of the kids in our state had health insurance. I don’t think there’s anything that shows more empathy and care about the people of this country than that kind of record.”

Really Mitt? You don't think there's anything at all that shows more empathy than insuring the people of Massachusetts? Have you actually given that question any thought? Why don't you don't a take a minute to consider it, now? Think. Think hard. What could be even more empathetic and caring than insuring the people of just one of our great states? Still can't come up with anything, huh? No wonder you think plane windows should open and that adding oxygen to a fire puts it out. Let me help you out, here... now, I'm just spit-balling, here, but how about insuring everyone in EVERY state and the District of Columbia, like President Obama did? How awesomely empathetic would THAT be? ObamaCare is more than 50 times more empathetic than RomneyCare! Plus, unlike RomneyCare, it doesn't use taxpayer funds to cover those abortions you used to say should be a woman's free choice, but now say you'd jump to ban at the Federal level, given the chance AND ObamaCare imposes smaller fines than RomneyCare. Wow, you must be like the biggest fan of ObamaCare, ever!

But wait... what did you actually have to say about ObamaCare? Oh yeah, "Day One, Job One, Repeal ObamaCare." You even uploaded an ad about it.

How empathetic is that? (Hint: The answer is NONE.)

And Mitt, I have to ask... how exactly do you think this proves you have empathy and care about the people? At most, it proves you USED to have empathy. Have you said anything, more recently than you've signed ANYthing into law, that might give us some insight into how much empathy you have for all those people you insured in Massachusetts and for the millions of other Americans who are struggling? There is?! Well, let's hear it!

Oh yeah... that. Ow. Now that we know what you say about us behind our backs, it's more likely the only thing RomneyCare might prove is that you used to do a better job of PRETENDING to have empathy. Those people you just bragged about insuring in Massachusetts are some of those same people you trash talked at your fancy $50,000.00/plate fundraising dinner. Did you think we wouldn't notice that? It's not your job to worry about them or our seniors, our veterans & war heroes, those Americans who are looking for jobs because of that unemployment rate you're running on & which your own party helps to sustain by blocking the jobs bill in Congress or even our disabled people and poor children?

How empathetic is that? (Hint: The answer is NONE.)

And you've told the 30+ million people you intend to kick off of health care on day one of your Presidency to "take personal responsibility and care for their lives" by going to the Emergency Room and sticking ME and MY FAMILY (who are insured and pay very expensive premiums for really high deductibles and crappy coverage) with the bill? WTF?!?! Back when you were proving your empathy by insuring the people of Massachusetts, you described that as socialism. Remember that, Mitt?

How empathetic is it to make them wait until minor illnesses become emergencies to seek care? How empathetic is it to stick ME with their bills when I'm already stuck paying for your tax breaks and the last spend & spend & spend Republican President's wars? (Hint: The answer is NONE.)

Tell you what, Mitt. You've said you care deeply about jobs and struggling Americans. You've said the Government can't create jobs, only the private sector can. You claim to know how to create jobs because you've done it. Why don't you prove THOSE claims? Put your elbow grease where your waffle-hole is. Stop seeking a job in the Government you claim can't help the situation, go back to the private sector, CREATE SOME JOBS - good jobs a hard working man or woman can support a family on, build a decent life around and retire comfortably from after 40 years - jobs for American citizens in the United States of America... and while you're at it, make a profit, a big one and use it to take some personal responsibility for and show some care for maintaining this glorious nation as the best place on this Earth to call home... invest your profits in American businesses, sock it away in American banks and pay your taxes.

If you devote the rest of your life to doing that and you can accomplish it, you'll be far more wealthy than you're on track to be, now and you won't have to brag or reboot or shake your etch a sketch to get my applause or to convince me you can do the things you say you can do. You'll have earned it.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Shredding the Competition

ATTENTION Newly registered Democrats in Florida:

Double check that you are actually registered. A Romney hired firm, owned by a known registration fraud perpetrator, allegedly shredded Dem registrations in Florida in an attempt to skew the Nov election. If your voter registration card found its way into the shredder, the deadline to register in FL is Oct. 9, so you need to hurry!

Newly registered Dems in other states need to double check their registrations, as well,particularly in swing and battleground states, where it's more likely their efforts were concentrated.

http://www.politicolnews.com/gop-hired-fraud-company-destroy-voter-registrations-of-democrats/

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Real Mitt Romney

Earlier this week, footage came out of Mitt Romney speaking with wealthy donors at a private $50,000 per plate fundraiser. In his talk, he lets them know what he'd rather we did not know: what he really thinks of us.

By "us," I'm not sure if he means just those of us who are voting for Obama or if he means just the 47% of Americans who pay no income tax -- he seems to think the two groups are one and the same, which clearly shows a lack of even the most rudimentary understanding, both of who makes his own Republican party's base and who is included in that wretched, huddled mass of Americans whom he believes yearn to remain on the government dole and are thus a lost cause and of no concern to him. (If you were shocked by his statement that it's not his job to worry about nearly half of all Americans, you weren't paying attention in the primaries when he said he wasn't concerned about the very poor. He wasn't joking, kids.) And he doesn't stop there, he further describes the 47% as dependent on the Government for survival, in other words -- all 47% are not only paying no income tax but refuse to work and are living solely on the Government Dole because they believe they are victims and entitled to a free ride. The lazy moochers!!!

So, to summarize what Mitt said: 47% of Americans are in the tank for Obama, pay no income tax, refuse to work AND depend solely on the Government Dole for survival.

  • Nobody who's in the tank for Obama pays income tax and everybody who pays no income tax is in the tank for Obama.
  • Everybody who's in the tank for Obama is on the Government Dole and everybody who's on the Government Dole is in the tank for Obama.
  • Everybody who's voting for Obama refuses to work and everyone who's not working is voting for Obama.
  • Everybody who's voting for Obama sees themselves as victims and everyone who sees themselves as victims is voting for Obama
Got that? Good.

In case you've forgotten what Mitt Romney actually said and you've bought into his post-outing damage control that he was talking about creating jobs and lifting people out of poverty, here's the quote to refresh your memory:

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the President no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. That that's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what. And I mean, the president starts off with 48, 49, 48—he starts off with a huge number. These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn't connect. And he'll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean that's what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people—I'll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.
See Full Transcript on Mother Jones

Who is in the tank for Obama?
For starters, lots of us, who are "in the tank" for Obama, DO work and DO pay income taxes AND, unlike Romney, can PROVE IT by producing, as we're often asked to do when we apply for loans or even some jobs, complete tax returns going back multiple years. Mr Romney, who claims to have released two years of his tax returns has, in fact, released only a PORTION of his 2010 returns. Get out your scratch pads & do the math along with us at home, kids: A fraction of 1 return is not only less than 2 years, it's less than 1 year. We have NO evidence Mitt paid any income taxes at all in any of several years leading up to and including 2009... because Romney refuses to provide that evidence

Update: Shortly after this post was written, it was announced that Romney has released his 2011 return as well as statements/summaries (but not the actual returns) regarding several previous years. It is worth noting that Mitt's effective tax rate in 2011 would have been 9%, but he chose not to take his full deduction for charitable contributions, raising it to a somewhat less electorally damaging 14%, but catching himself up in his own claim that if he paid even one dollar more than the law said he had to pay, he'd be unqualified to be this nation's President. Also, if he loses (or even if he does not lose,) he has 3 years to ammend his 2011 taxes to take the full deduction.

Which programs are part of the Government Dole?
That depends on who you ask. Let's be clear about this... Mitt Romney fully subscribes to the Republican Party's definition of "The Government Dole." Their definition includes social programs that assist low income families, like food stamps, Welfare and Medicaid. This is an area that pretty much all of us agree falls under the definition of Government Assistance Programs. But, all of us weren't talking - Mitt Romney was talking and his definiton doesn't stop there, no, his is barely getting started. The Republican/Romney definition also includes SSI disability and Veterans benefits. (That's right kids, he's lumping our Veterans, including our Veterans who were permanently disabled in COMBAT into his detested group of lazy freeloading scum! How very Presidential of him, eh?) Romney and the Republicans also include in their definition things we pay for, separate from our income tax, out of our EARNINGS, through payroll tax and/or our "burden rate" -- things like the Social Security retirement benefits we pay for in advance our entire working lives and the unemployment insurance we pay for and the Medicare premiums we pay in advance all our working lives so that we will have health insurance in our old age. AND, get this, they also include in their definition things we have to pay back to the Government, with interest -- like student loans and small business loans. (Don't worry, if you have a huge, multi-$billion internation corporation or conglomerate that gets $Millions or $Billions in subsidy you don't have to pay back despite paying no taxes in the US, at all, you're a job creator, so you're A-OK with Romney and the Republicans! Yes, you are among the worthiest of the worthies!)

Who's actually ON the Dole?
So, going back to that part of the Government Dole that really does provide assistance to the needy, (Welfare, Medicaid and Food Stamps) who, in this great nation, sucks hardest at the Government teet? Surely, it is the freeloading, scumbag blue states who are in the tank for Obama, right? Sorry, kids. It's the Red States By far. That's right a good portion of those leeches Romney made it clear are a lost cause and not his job to worry about are in the Republican base and in the tank for Romney. Oops. I guess Mitt missed the Tea Party movement, where we learned that a good amount of the markers & poster board used to make those poorly spelled signs railing passionately against Obama and against social programs was actually purchased with welfare and SSI checks cashed by those who held those signs aloft. (But, hey, let's be fair. Many of them justified their Government handouts telling us they deserved that tainted socialist money because they'd paid in to the system at some point prior in their lives -- you know, like everybody else does.)

Who doesn't owe income taxes at the end of the year?

  • About 10% of Americans pay no income tax because they earn under $20,000/yr. - some of these people work and some are out of work -- Maybe you've heard Romney and other Republicans reminding us that we still have 8.1% unemployment? In other words, we don't exactly have more jobs than people to fill them in the wake of the worst recession since the Great Depression, no thanks to the Republican Congress who has blocked the jobs bill despite Republican Speaker Boehner's promise, in 2010, that they would create jobs if we gave Republicans the majority in the House.
  • Lots of hard working families who are raising children and whose deductions and Earned Income Credit and Mortgage Interest credit offset their tax liability.
  • Children who do not work -- because they are too young.
  • Seniors who no longer work -- because they're too old.
  • High School and College Students who do not work -- because they're concentrating on their studies. Note: Neither Mitt nor Ann worked when they were in college, even after they married and began having children.
  • Wealthy people who do not work and who live off of investment income.
  • Millionaires and Billionaires who work, but find creative ways, as Mitt Romney did when he was at Bain to receive compensation that is considered investment income and not earned income.
  • Millionaires and Billionaires who work, but crawl through accounting and financial loopholes to "shelter" their income so it appears they did not earn it in the US or so that it appears they've donated it all to charity - including charities they own and control. Like Mitt does.

Are all of these people worthless moochers who refuse to work? NO! Most of them work for a living - and work hard, at that!
Are all of these people on the Government Dole as defined by Romney, Ryan and the Republican party? No.
Are all of these people in the tank for Obama? NO! A good portion are in the tank for Romney! Some of them might even have paid $50,000 to be in that room with Romney. Heck, one of them might BE Mitt Romney. (He won't release his returns, so we will never know - to quote Dana Carvey's Church Lady character from SNL "Isn't that convenient?")

It's also worth noting, here that most of these people have something Mitt Romney does not have - a job. In fact, Romney didn't have a job until he was nearly 30, long after he'd married and started his family and then he retired in (well, the year he retired is even a question he's answered different ways depending on who's listening, but whatever year it was, it was well before he reached the age most of the hard working people he looks down on as freeloading moochers will have the luxury of retiring.)

Is there any such thing as victims, in a free society?
Yes, kids, sadly victims exist in every society. Are they all Obama supporters? Hardly! The Republicans have tried to turn the word into something dirty, detestable and despicable. They've twisted into a taunt to subdue you into going along with the status quo they want to set and their redefinition intentionally detracts from the real meaning.

If you're not chewing your cud contentedly, like the dumb little head of cattle you're supposed to be, you're crying "victim." Raped and knocked up by your rapist - you're not a victim, you've been blessed and should quit your whining to thank your maker for that brutal assault. Lose your job because some private equity firm bought your profitable employer, leveraged it to the hilt and left it to die an agonizing death - you're not a victim, you're just a lazy bum who doesn't take responsibility for your life, as evidenced by the fact you don't have a job. Right?

Well, here's the thing. If there's no such thing as a victim, there's no such thing as a crime. That's the real definition of victim - a person against whom a crime has been perpetrated. If you honestly believe the Republicans think there's no such thing as a victim, that it's just whining on the part of some worthless drain on society who can't take responsibility for or care for his/her own life, take a good long look at how fast the Republicans are NOT shutting down and dismantling all of our empty prisons and jails.

Their entire victimhood meme is a tactic, not a belief. Certainly, not a fact. There are very real victims in this great nation. We often call them survivors, because of the tenacity and endurance of our not-so-fragile human spirit to survive and thrive against all odds and to triumph over adversity. Changing the meaning of the word as it's perceived by society diminishes those triumphs. Whether someone has been or is a victim has nothing to do with whether they believe themselves to be victims or refer to themselves as victims, it has nothing to do with how strong they are, how smart they are, their wealth or position or success in business and it certainly has nothing to do with their politics. The criminals who perpetrate crimes against others don't ask their potential victims to fill out a demographics survey, first, to screen out the potential Romney voters.

So, to recap: Mitt Romney, who has no job, refuses to provide evidence he pays income taxes every year and who wants you to pay higher taxes to continue funding tax cuts for HIM calls poor people moochers while standing in a room begging rich men for money. Wow. And poor Mitt, all of this came out just as he was about to shake his Etch-a-sketch, wipe down his dry erase board and "reboot" his campaign, yet again. Well, I have a bit of valuable advice for you Mr. Romney:

You can reboot a million times, but it won't change your operating system.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Mitt Fails Out Loud



Republican candidate Mitt Romney says: Corporations are people, I like firing people and I'm not concerned about the very poor. He doesn't get it - and by "it," we mean being human. This yard sign (which fits H frame, sold separately) is a great way to show both that you're voting for the re-election of President Barack Obama in the 2012 election and why you would never vote for Romney!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Retroactive Retirement

Thanks to Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney ushering in the age of the do-over, you're not unemployed or still toting that barge because you can't afford to retire at your advanced age. You didn't get fired or laid off.  You don't have to work to continue collecting your paycheck.  And if you do work - you can't be held responsible for anything you might do wrong or not do fast enough or even any laws you might break.  No!  You're now highly paid for doing squat and not responsible for jack! You're Retroactively Retired!  Isn't that awesome?  


Retroactively Retired T-shirt

Friday, April 06, 2012

Caterpillars Do Not Vote

RNC Chair Reince Priebus said that if the media reported that the Republican party was waging a war on caterpillars, they'd be in trouble with caterpillars in the polls. Um... caterpillars don't vote. Women do!

Caterpillars Don't Vote zazzle_shirt
Caterpillars Don't Vote by melhi_

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Women Are Not Caterpillars!

RNC Chair, Reince Priebus, has made it clear that Republicans think of American women not as equals or as voters or even as fellow Americans, but as insect larvae. We are not caterpillars. Caterpillars eat leaves and die when you step on them. We are strong, intelligent, hard working American women and when you step on us, WE VOTE. Send the RNC a message - the war on women is real, our outrage is real and we will roar in record numbers at ballot boxes across the nation on election day!

 Caterpillars Die When You Step On Them, I Vote zazzle_shirt
Caterpillars Die When You Step On Them, I Vote by Melhi Ink

Friday, March 23, 2012

Too Sketchy

Inspired by recent headlines - and that it's such an apt comparison - Erase Romney 2012 on generic sketch toy. Order as-is or customize to add your own text caption.

Romney Sketch Toy zazzle_shirt
Romney Sketch Toy by Melhi Ink

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Etch-a-Sketchy

Many of us, from the left, middle and yes, even the right, listen to Romney's speeches, ads and other campaign trail chatter with our jaws on the floor over the sheer audacity, number and ease of his lies. We are that majority of the American population who make an effort to pay attention to the world going on around us that does not include tuning into Fox News or Consevative Talk Radio. In the following piece, Rachel Maddow explains why he leaves us scraping our jaws off the floor every time he wags his lying tongue. Unfortunately, the people who most need to see this will not watch it - because it's not from Fox or conservative radio and is thus unlikely to mollycoddle their fragile senses of self worth by telling them only the things they want to hear. Those who will watch it won't learn anything they didn't already know, but please watch anyway - I think you will enjoy it.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy


And in honor of Mitt's propensity for untruth... please enjoy this classic music selection whose lyrics could be written as an open letter to Mitt, today...


 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

It's Going To Be Epic!

Romney Fail shirt
Romney Fail by melhi_

...and now he's an Etch-A-Sketch? Did he say who's turning his knobs to draw what he's displaying on his screen or who's turning him over and shaking him to erase and draw something else? Is he TRYING to lose? Sheesh! All Mittens has to do is keep talking and it's going to be an epic Romney #FAIL 2012!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Sunday, January 01, 2012

New Year's Meme

Kayecee invited her online pals to join in this meme. http://www.lifeoverhere.com/2012-new-years-resolutions-from-kayecee/ I thought this might be an effective way to cleanse myself of the sorrows of 2011 before I get a fresh, clean start what I hope will be an awesome and joyous 2012. :)

1. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions from 2011? Will you make any for 2012?
I don't do resolutions - I'm of the opinion that change has to come when we are truly ready for it, not when some silly tradition forces us to set ourselves up for failure. Plus, I am perfect, soooo.... (ha ha)

2. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
I had a quiet dinner out with my hubs & youngest daughter, then I did research on a predatory pedophile who attempted to initiate contact with my daughter toward filing police reports. I am glad 2011 is over.

3. What was your biggest achievement of the past year?
I ran for the first time in a very long time and I didn't die or do myself a serious injury.

4. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I begged my grandma not to die and then buried her. As I said, I'm glad 2011 is over.

5. What was your biggest failure?
I did not earn as much as I needed to earn, this year. ...and I do mean *need*ed. I really need to step up my game in a big way in 2012.

6. Do you have any big events planned for 2012?
Youngest's Jr. High graduation in May.

7. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Better sales, patience, for worry and grief to lift so my muse can whisper great ideas in my ear again, for everyone I love to be healthy and happy.

8. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Gardening. Like serious gardening... for food and for business use.

9. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Play silly time sucking games on Facebook. Except Sudoku - It helps me with focus in the same way meditation does but I don't have to achieve an unachievable state of relaxation to use it in that way. So, it's actually helpful. The others are not.

10. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes. But nobody who should not be in prison for doing what made me hate them.

11. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, but nothing life threatening.


12. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

13. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

14. Did anyone close to you get engaged/married?
Nope. Pretty sure all the current engagements began in 2010... with wedding dates set for 2013.

15. Where did most of your money go this year?
Bare necessities. (Most of which were purchased at Save A Lot, on clearance.)

16. What was the best thing you bought during 2011?
My new camera - which I use for my shops on Zazzle. Part of me wishes I hadn't splurged because I know how many weeks of groceries its price would have bought, the other part of me knows it is an investment that will more than pay for itself - hopefully long before the end of 2012.

17. What places did you visit this past year?
Hannibal Missouri - the Mark Twain stuff. Middle Tennessee - my son and my parents-in-law live there.

18. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Mony Mony by Tommy James and the Shondells - because when I was little, I called my grandma Mony and thought the song was about her and during the time she was in the process of declining and dying and since she passed, I have needed to hear it... a LOT.

19. What was your favourite TV program?
Tie between Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who and Misfits.

20. What was the best book you read?
Don't remember the name of it - it was one of John Hodgman's books.

21. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Ben Ross band (now renamed to Color You) - not because they're my cup of tea, necessarily, but because of how awesome they were to my daughter when we took her to see them at Bongo Java in Nashville, TN and how awesome they've been to her, since then. I wish them much success.

22. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Everybody hurts... sometimes." (Have I mentioned I'm glad 2011 is over?)

23. How would you describe your personal fashion in 2011?
I wouldn't even describe it as "fashion."

24. What was your favorite film of 2011?
Hmmmm... not sure... maybe The Help.

25. What did you do on your birthday?
My middle daughter threw a surprise luau for me!!!! It was AWESOME!!! I even wore my grass skirt!!! Definitely one my best memories from 2011.

26. What kept you sane?
Close online friends and my kids.

27. Who did you miss?
My son who's away at school. My grandma. My parents (who have been too ill to visit with much.)

28. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Sadder. An itty bitty bit thinner. A lot poorer.

29. Were you in love with anyone in 2011?
I am fairly certain I was in love with exactly as many people as were in love with me.

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
I learned no new lessons in 2011 (except maybe that when I'm old, I should not, under any circumstances, fall) - lessons I've already learned were reaffirmed and 2011 could have been a lot worse even than it was if I had not learned them, already.

Scroll back up - click on the link to the meme and join in!