Thursday, November 30, 2006


The Neo-Lexi-Con
(Neo-con to American Translations)

Alternative Energy Development
Looking for new places to drill for oil

America First
Reference to America's position on the list of nations to destroy

America Hater
Anyone who demonstrates a stubborn patriotic loyalty to the outdated America that was shaped by our ignorant liberal forefathers and impedes its destruction to make way for the new, authoritarian America being shaped by our glorious Neo-con masters

Constitutional Rights
Refers solely to the 2nd ammendment

Tactic employed only when the military of a nation hoarding our oil is well armed and capable of launching a full on counter offensive.

Exporting Democracy
Drilling for oil in the same old places, but under new (neo-con) management.

Holy Land
Where those godless bastards are hoarding our oil

Slang term referring to something that's already underway or has already transpired

Stay the course
We haven't secured the oil, yet

Support the troops (as an edict to others)
Don't question the war or it's off to Gitmo with you

Support the troops (as a pledge or boast)
Underdeploy, under equip and then blame the troops while cutting their family and veterans benefits. (Note: can also used as slang for "photo op" with persons attired in what appears to be military garb, whether actual military personnel or not.)

Terrorist or Terrorist Sympathiser
1. Those bastards hoarding our oil
2. Any American who disagrees with or questions the neo-con agenda
3. Any American belonging to an opposing political party

War on Terror
Tactic employed only when multiple UN inspections have proven that the military of a nation hoarding our oil is virutally unarmed and incapable of mounting any semblence of a defense.

Weapons of Mass Destruction
Euphamism for "our oil"

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Don We Now Our Body Armour

Earlier this evening, while I was away at work, my hubby was checking out the local community access channel on cable to get the correct start time for this evening's local Christmas parade. In the background, was the audio feed from CNN and the topic of discussion was the *cough* war on Christmas. *cough* An unseen right wing pundit commented on Wal-mart's return to the use of "Merry Christmas" in its promotional materials, both within the store and without saying, essentially "Sales were down last year, so they went back to what worked."

A few moments ago, as hubby was perusing the blogsphere, he laughed out loud as he read this headline: "WalMart Faces First Holiday Slump In a Decade."

I guess next year, they'll go back to "Happy Holidays" -- if their stockholders are willing to risk keeping that much religous connotation. Because, obviously, the problem lies in the semantics and not in this wretched big box neo-conomy.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Fiddler on the Bicycle

The situation in Iraq is devolving by the minute... kidnappings, mass killings, burning people alive in the streets...

...And where's Georgie? Is he in the war room? Is he at the Pentagon consulting with the generals? Is he hard at work in the Oval Office? No. He's off playing in his mountain biker costume.

We needed to win a much larger Congressional majority than we did. It's going to be a LONG two years.

Meanwhile, in other news...

In a misguided attempt to solve the problem of wars being fought primarily by the sons and daughters of the poor, Congressman Charles Rangel is, once again, pushing to reinstate the draft. He believes that if Congressmen in the House and Senate would be sending their own children or the children of those constituents who can afford to donate to their campaigns, they'd think twice before voting to take the country to war.

Sounds reasonable enough, but the roster of Vietnam-war draft dodging Chickenhawks currently in charge, proves that even with the draft, Iraq would still be a rich man's score to settle and a poor man's war to fight. The wealthy will always be able to afford and the powerful will always be able to pull strings to ensure that the poor and powerless shoulder the burdens and bear the sacrifices of battle.

Hey, I have a novel idea: I propose no vacations, days off or even leisure time for anyone in the Senate, House, Executive Branch, key administration appointments, cabinet positions or the Pentagon whenever the nation is at war. No parties, galas, roasts, fun photo ops, holiday celebrations, mountain biking excursions, fishing trips, golf outings, telecommuting from the ranch or Camp David or Kennebunkport, fiddling on rooftops, etc. It would be a miniscule sacrifice compared to that made by our troops and their families, but it would be a good symbolic start.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Me (song parody)

alternate lyrics by Melhi (8-9-06)
to She by Billie Joe Armstrong and Green Day

She teaches science
A constant fight to penetrate our absent minds
You've set your designs -- to kill her science
With your book and hide the bones

I don't care, I'll keep ignoring, doesn't matter who
She can't reach me.
Guaranteed the same holds true for you!
School bell rings, I ain't learned a thing
I'll learn the same sh*t from you!

She's been forced out
Now you pound her desk to sell your point of view
Wa-king up my mind
You've smashed her science
Through the thickness of my skull

I just woke up and the world makes sense now, thanks to you!
I've been acting like a total fool without a clue!
Scream at me, testify and preach
My mind's been freed by the truth!


I just woke up and the world makes sense now, thanks to you!
You must think that I'm a total fool without a clue!
Scream at me, but I'm out of reach
Won't make believe, just for you!

Off topic...

A human at Blogger seems to have confirmed, with but a glance at my blog, what decades of advances in DNA testing and countless scientists have not yet been able to prove, conclusively -- and what no neander-con would believe even with firm scientific proof -- that I'm a human. :)

I've also switched over to the new beta Blogger, so if anything looks funky, it's them, not me. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

Soooo... expect me to start running my mouth through my keyboard again, after the holiday weekend!

Happy Turkey Day, everyone... Gobble Gobble HICcup! (some of you fellow punk fans might get that.)

Monday, November 20, 2006


I managed to recover and republish, under the original posting date, all of the 8 part series on Gay Marriage, plus the table of contents for that series. Unfortunately, since this series was restored from my own backup files and not from Draft Status, all of the old comments are lost and links anyone might still have up to the old series will have to have _31 (underscore three one) added just before .html (dot html) to work.

You'll find the series in the January 2006 archives.... linked in the right hand column on this page.

Thank you for your patience,


Sunday, November 19, 2006

Why I Like Dick

Dick Durbin has been impressing the hell out of me these last few years. I'm fortunate to have him representing me in the Senate, I was honored to meet him and have a few moments to speak with him, over the summer and I'm absolutely thrilled that he'll be our new Majority Whip. Every time he talks, I want to thank him for something he said that accurately echoed something I've been thinking or saying. I'd like to thank him for everything he said that was quoted in this article:

I couldn't have said it better, myself. Thank you, Mr. Durbin.

Sick Jokes

Ok, I'll admit it. As sick and twisted as it may be, I've gotten a lot of comedic mileage out of Bush's even more sick and twisted hiring practices and various sick and twisted Republican missteps, scandals, oopsies, behaviors, etc. Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame.

I shared some of my "Cheney shot an old guy in the face" and "brownie points" humor, online. But, most of my little monologues, one-liners and barbed quips are delivered in traditionally Democrat fashion: orally and in person to willing recipients who enjoy the experience even if they're reluctant to admit their enjoyment to the whole world. ;)

I'm sure that if I wasn't evil incarnate, I would be particularly ashamed of the many, many, many laughs I got out of the Foley scandal.... even some of my tamer ones are certain to have doomed me to an eternity in Hell:

"Thanks to the Bush administration, the petroleum industry is reporting record profits... and say what you will about Foley, but you have to give the guy credit for single-handedly doing the same for the petroleum jelly industry."

"I don't know why everyone's acting so surprised, Foley was always very open about it. He'd routinely arrive late to the House floor and excuse himself with 'Sorry, I was getting a little behind this afternoon.'"

"You can't really blame Foley. After Bush got in office and the Republican party had control over all three branches of government, Foley had so many requests for job recommendations coming in from pages, he had to find some way to determine which deserved to get ahead and which didn't. So, he decided to follow President Bush's lead and give it to those who proved to him they sucked the most."

...In other news:

President Bush has appointed Dr. Eric Keroack to oversee the federal Office of Population Affairs. As deputy assistant secretary for population affairs, Dr. Keroack will oversee that department's $283 billion dollar budget and our federal teen pregnancy, family planning and abstinence programs. This appointment does not require Congressional approval and the doctor is expected to assume the position in the next few weeks. Dr. Keroack is currently the medical director for the Dorchester, Mass. based non-profit Christian organization, A Woman's Concern and is a strong and active opponent of pre-marital sex, abortion and the use of contraceptives.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Breaking the Partisan Ice on Iraq...

Senator Harry Reid (D-Nevada)"...the first order of business, when Democrats formally take over in January will be to reinvigorate Congressional scrutiny of the executive branch, with a focus on Iraq...let's find out what's going on with the war in Iraq..."

Hmmm... I hear water-boarding is a good way to get information out of people who don't like sharing it.


AP headline: "Democrats now look to sustain majority"

Correction: Democrats now begin working toward earning an even greater majority.

Nov. 7th didn't herald the end of the mission, but the beginning.

Friday, November 10, 2006

New-vember Inkware

Latest additions to the Melhi Ink Store:

Back by Popular Demand:

God Hates Bigots -

Amanda -
God Made Amanda & Eve, too!

Steve -
If God Didn't Make Steve, Who Did?

New Political Swag:

President Pelosi? -
She's just a microwaved pretzel away from the oval office!

Bush Fatigue -
Just like Clinton Fatigue, but real!

Right's Worst Nightmare -
Nancy Pelosi for President '08

New Pop Culture Swag:

For the Ultimate Sinner --
If I had a dollar for every sin I'm going to H*ll for, I could buy my way into Heaven

Step Up or Step Off --

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Payback's a Bitch!

It's in all the headlines, news segment introes and e-mail subject lines. But it's not true.

We did NOT wake up to a Democrat Congress, today.

We woke up to a pink-slip toting Republican Congress scorned. Think the last few years have been rough? Wait 'til you get a load of the next two months, baby.

Hell hath no fury...

Put it on, Nancy... put it all on!

Nancy Pelosi said today, "Democrats aren't about getting even... impeachment is off the table."

Impeachment is about determining whether laws were broken and holding someone accountable if they were. It's as much about "getting even" as putting alleged murderers, rapists and thieves on trial to determine their guilt or innocence in those crimes and to prescribe sentencing if they are found guilty or clear their names if they are found innocent.

Impeachment isn't a political bargaining chip -- it should never be "off the table" unless there's nothing to merit articles of impeachment and it should never be on the table unless the President puts it there with his conduct.

Put impeachment back on the table, Nancy. You're not the busboy, here.

In True Chickenhawk Form...

Why the cut-n-run, Donny, ole chap? Don't have the cajones to do the job unless you have a rubber stamp? We expected you wouldn't. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, buddy -- wouldn't want you to get a boo-boo.

We sent them a message...

The Republican Congress and the Bush Administration sent us a very clear, very firm message after the '02 election -- "We're going to do what we want." They've repeated that message, over and over and over, every day since.

Yesterday, we raised our voices to respond and our response was very simple: "No. This is OUR country, you work for US and you're going to do what WE want."

That they're scrambling, today, to determine whether our collective panties were in a knot, yesterday, over Iraq, scandals, corruption, stem cell research, etc., only proves that their eyes and ears have been and remain stubbornly closed to us. We didn't mumble.

Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmbbblllllleee!

The close of the 06 midterm election marks the official start of the 08 Presidental campaign and folks, we're in for a treat -- a free-for-all such as hasn't been seen since the final days of the Calvin Coolidge administration!

No President begging for four more years. No sitting Veep shilling for a promotion. It's anybody's game and everybody who's anybody seems to be game to take a shot at the big prize!

Fasten your seatbelt kiddies -- it's going to be a thrill ride!

(For those dying to know, I got 40% in a district where the numbers indicated that anything over 18% would be a good showing. :) )

Monday, November 06, 2006

Bush's Economic Plan (song parody)

Brand new, just finished today! Enjoy!

Bush's Economic Plan
by Melhi
To the tune of "Winter Wonderland"

Where's the dream, we were livin'
Life was good, under Clinton
We slave to survive, we're hungry tonight
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Gone away, is the surplus
Here to stay, debt that plagues us
He strings us along, and tells us it's strong
Trust in Bush's economic plan

In the desert, he just blew it all and
He outsourced our jobs, the buck is down
He's made sure the wealthy will pay no tax
Oh, we could use some jobs right here and now!

Wealthy pals how they've prospered - Arab sheiks, oil mobsters
Too broke to erase, the mess that they've made
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Foreign lenders, oh how much we owe them
America's in hock to foreign crowns
At the rate our foreign debt is growing
Impossible to ever pay it down!

Mexico's masses spilling
Through the fence no one's building
They'll work for less pay, so they get to stay
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Thanks to Bush's economic plan
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Thanks to Bush's economic plan
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Coming Back...

Melhi Ink Blog is in the process of returning from hiatus.

While many of the archived articles were lost to deletions and cannot be restored, articles shelved in draft status or successsfully backed up to remote storage will be restored to public view as time allows.

Meanwhile, if you haven't voted already, set time aside in your schedule to vote on Tuesday. I don't have to tell you what's at stake -- you're living it.

See Dick? RUN!!!!!!!

In a last minute effort to frighten Republican-regime-weary voters into remaining locked in their homes and safely away from the polls, Vice President Dick Cheney has announced that he will embark on a hunting trip on election day.

Full Story Here

(Nice try, Dick -- but a lot of us have already voted.)

Thursday, November 02, 2006

It Has To Be Said...

(Technically, I'm still on hiatus, but this couldn't wait...)

Bush Fatigue -- just like Clinton Fatigue, only real.

(See y'all in a couple of weeks.)