Thursday, January 04, 2007

Getting back to normal.

The new Democrat controlled Congress has convened. It's a little premature to be feeling even a hint of relief, but... at least now there's a chance.

In other news...

Bush tacked one of his infamous signing statements onto yet another bill. This time, it's a postal reform bill that, among other things, says Uncle Sam can't snoop through your private mail. The signing statement pretty much amounts to "Oh yeah, just watch me."


America's number one enemy and chief instigator of the loony left-wing media conspiracy, CNN, ran a trailer for a piece about Osama bin Ladin, which captioned footage of the hardly-worth-troubling-Bush's-thoughts terrorist leader with "Where's Obama?"

Presenter Wolf Blitzer, believed by some to be Satan's he-bitch, issued a formal appology to Senator Barack Obama, saying later of the oopsie "We had a very bad typographical error... We certainly deeply regret the error."

It's a shame someone hasn't developed a technology that could be afforded on a media cable giant's budget that would allow them to edit and record such things ahead of time, instead of making them up on the fly, so that news outlets could have their captions glanced over by a proofreader who has a vague awareness of the fair and balanced Obama name game media blitz of the last few weeks and can tell an "s" from a "b."

Typographical error? BZZZZZZZT -- try again, CNN. Granted, I don't have a PhD in typing, but I do know my way around a keyboard. I got my first typewriter when I was 6 and officially learned how to touch-type at 12. I type too fast for regular keyboards and, to avoid multiple keyboard replacements per year, while slowing my speed enough for the computer to keep up with me, I have to use an allegedly "indestructible" jelly board (fondly referred to as "the medicine board." If you've tried to use one, you know why.) I type very fast, I type a lot and while I'm usually pretty accurate, thanks to the medicine board slowing me down to what is, for me, an unnatural, finger-tying speed, I do make all of the common typos... usually several times each in a single blog entry, as you've no doubt noticed, by now.

So let's examine the many common typos, shall we?
B is neither adjacent nor mirrored to "s" on the keyboard. B isn't typed with the same finger as s -- on either hand B doesn't appear when the strike finger lingers too long the s key. S doesn't require pulling the strike finger from its home key and stretching to strike a non-adjacent position as b does. The word "Obama"does not result from typing the letters in "Osama" out of order. "B" isn't a common aurally induced "brain fart" substitution for "s" (as "ing" is for "ink") and it isn't a common visually induced "brain fart" substitution (as d,g,p or q would be for b.) Etc. Etc. Etc.

Not a typo and nobody who viewed the piece in production noticed it until everybody who viewed it on television noticed it? If I didn't know better, I'd say that either the left wing media is turning on its own... or... nooooo... it's almost too absurd to think... could it be? THERE IS NO FRIGGIN' LEFT WING MEDIA AND NEVER WAS.

Yep, things are getting back to normal, quickly... just not the particular brand of "normal" I was hoping for. *long, heavy sigh*

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