Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Guess What Else Is Less Than 1/10" In Diameter

Cheney will finally break his silence regarding the non-incident that left Harry Whittington (aka "The guy Dick Cheney shot in the face") in almost completely unharmed condition in an ICU trauma ward.

Mr. Cheney, in a stunning display of courage, has agreed to pop out of his hidey-hole to sit down for an exclusive Fox "News" interview, today. The interview will take place at 2:pm and Fox has promised to milk excerpts to death for ratings leading up to the official airing, scheduled for 6:pm.

Unlike a full press interview, where we might expect the Veep to be subjected to such irrelevant, troop-disparaging, America-hating, National-security-jeopardizing, unanswerable hypothetical questions as "Why did you wait so long to go public?" or "Are you implying that you, personally, administered medical care to Mr. Whittington for a full 18 hours?," or "You waited HOW long to inform even the President?!" we can trust the bastions of non-partisan, America-loving fairness, balance and truth at Fox "News" to stick to the important and tough questions on the minds of Americans. Questions like... "What can we do to help ensure that you receive a medal or some other prestigious honor for selflessly leaping into action to save Harry's life, letting your quarry get away?" or "Why did Harry spoil your shot?"

4 comments:

DemDeWitt said...

So, if Cheney shoots a Quayle in a Bush, would he get to live in the White House?

Melhi said...

LOL!! If he got a good, clear shot, he could probably live in the Whitehouse, with Laura AND get it moved to an undisclosed underground location -- unless, of course, the Enquirer made him an even better offer for the photos. ;)

DemDeWitt said...

I know I need to let this thing go but one parting shot...

Okay, I admit it. I just don't get it. The conservatives are screaming their heads off over the "liberal" press "hounding" Cheney for covering up the accidental spraying of a friend's face with birdshot that could have killed him. Hell, they wanted to impeach Bill Clinton for accidentally spraying a friend's dress with a little harmless semen that could have only killed Bill if Hillary had been anywhere near a Ginsu knife set!

Melhi said...

Personally, I don't think you have to let it go just because the exquisite irony is lost on them.

All kidding aside, for a moment, I think he hid out for the same reason he always hides out -- he's a pussy.

That Whittington apologised is just plain creepy -- although, I guess I can't call him a hypocrite if he's so bent on the Republican's "blame the victim" line that he doesn't stray from it even when he is the victim.

That, in his apology, he said it happened on *Friday,* and not Saturday, as we were told on Sunday and his injuries were so clearly sustained on the opposite side of his face to the diagrams drawn by the officers who CLAIMED to investigate the shooting... well, that raises questions neither we nor the press invented... and that aren't being asked by the so-called "liberal press" in their alleged "hounding."

But hey, the way this administration has been gunning for our seniors with legislation, social security, medicare, the complicated prescription drug plan puzzle for seniors, etc., we should have guessed it would only be a matter of time until they went gunning for them on private hunting reserves. (Veterans, children and the working - or formerly-working class should take note!)

That there was such a HUGE need for a diversionary tactic, should have told us approximately when it would happen.

Seriously... I'm sure you've noticed that you haven't heard nearly as much about Abramoff, Libby, DeLay, Cheney ordering the outing of one of our undercover operatives, that our ports are to be protected by foreign companies, etc. (So much for never ceding any portion our national security to foreign interests!)

But, somehow, they manage to slip in the "The economy is strong" talking point over and over and over again. And, somehow, that Homeland Security determined, in a very short stop in Arkansas, that $300 million of our tax dollars should be scrapped (the 11,000 +/- empty mobile homes that never made it to Katrina victims) and that Chertoff lied under oath about their condition, gets glossed over in a CNN segment and largely dismissed, by the overall press.

I tried like crazy, yesterday, to find some real news to sink my teeth into and, much like the job market, it was mighty slim pickin's. Disgusting!