Cheney will finally break his silence regarding the non-incident that left Harry Whittington (aka "The guy Dick Cheney shot in the face") in almost completely unharmed condition in an ICU trauma ward.
Mr. Cheney, in a stunning display of courage, has agreed to pop out of his hidey-hole to sit down for an exclusive Fox "News" interview, today. The interview will take place at 2:pm and Fox has promised to milk excerpts to death for ratings leading up to the official airing, scheduled for 6:pm.
Unlike a full press interview, where we might expect the Veep to be subjected to such irrelevant, troop-disparaging, America-hating, National-security-jeopardizing, unanswerable hypothetical questions as "Why did you wait so long to go public?" or "Are you implying that you, personally, administered medical care to Mr. Whittington for a full 18 hours?," or "You waited HOW long to inform even the President?!" we can trust the bastions of non-partisan, America-loving fairness, balance and truth at Fox "News" to stick to the important and tough questions on the minds of Americans. Questions like... "What can we do to help ensure that you receive a medal or some other prestigious honor for selflessly leaping into action to save Harry's life, letting your quarry get away?" or "Why did Harry spoil your shot?"