Let's Get Ready to Rummmmmbbblllllleee!

The close of the 06 midterm election marks the official start of the 08 Presidental campaign and folks, we're in for a treat -- a free-for-all such as hasn't been seen since the final days of the Calvin Coolidge administration!

No President begging for four more years. No sitting Veep shilling for a promotion. It's anybody's game and everybody who's anybody seems to be game to take a shot at the big prize!

Fasten your seatbelt kiddies -- it's going to be a thrill ride!


(For those dying to know, I got 40% in a district where the numbers indicated that anything over 18% would be a good showing. :) )

Bush's Economic Plan (song parody)

Brand new, just finished today! Enjoy!


Bush's Economic Plan
by Melhi
To the tune of "Winter Wonderland"


Where's the dream, we were livin'
Life was good, under Clinton
We slave to survive, we're hungry tonight
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Gone away, is the surplus
Here to stay, debt that plagues us
He strings us along, and tells us it's strong
Trust in Bush's economic plan

In the desert, he just blew it all and
He outsourced our jobs, the buck is down
He's made sure the wealthy will pay no tax
Oh, we could use some jobs right here and now!

Wealthy pals how they've prospered - Arab sheiks, oil mobsters
Too broke to erase, the mess that they've made
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Foreign lenders, oh how much we owe them
America's in hock to foreign crowns
At the rate our foreign debt is growing
Impossible to ever pay it down!

Mexico's masses spilling
Through the fence no one's building
They'll work for less pay, so they get to stay
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Thanks to Bush's economic plan
Thanks to Bush's economic plan


Thanks to Bush's economic plan
Thanks to Bush's economic plan

Coming Back...

Melhi Ink Blog is in the process of returning from hiatus.

While many of the archived articles were lost to deletions and cannot be restored, articles shelved in draft status or successsfully backed up to remote storage will be restored to public view as time allows.

Meanwhile, if you haven't voted already, set time aside in your schedule to vote on Tuesday. I don't have to tell you what's at stake -- you're living it.

See Dick? RUN!!!!!!!

In a last minute effort to frighten Republican-regime-weary voters into remaining locked in their homes and safely away from the polls, Vice President Dick Cheney has announced that he will embark on a hunting trip on election day.

Full Story Here

(Nice try, Dick -- but a lot of us have already voted.)

It Has To Be Said...

(Technically, I'm still on hiatus, but this couldn't wait...)

Bush Fatigue -- just like Clinton Fatigue, only real.


(See y'all in a couple of weeks.)

Gone Fishin'

(Temporarily on hiatus.)

Latest Inkware

New Inkware from Melhi Ink
-- August 2006 --

Pickin' On Pluto!
Unlike the former planet, itself, Pluto swag is Hot! Hot!! Hot!!! ...And the Melhi Ink Pluto Store has the funniest Pluto shirts and bumper stickers in the solar system!
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1770747

What else is new, this month?




New political Inkware in the storefront:


Sweet Donkeys!
Show your Democrat pride with our sweet little Democrat Donkey (and just the donkey!) available on a variety of kick ass gear!
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1748235


Any Democrat For President '08!
The "Any Democrat" 2008 Presidential campaign bumper sticker in our "Pick Your Donkey" section was so well received that we've added a whole section of "Any Democrat" swag -- stickers, buttons, t-shirts & more!
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1747743

Pick Your Donkey '08
2008 Presidential campaign bumper stickers (24 candidates to choose from, plus "Pick Your Donkey" and "Any Democrat" for yellow-dogs and undecideds.)
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1739508



"Rich Man's Score -- Poor Man's War"
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1724374


New non-political Inkware in our Miscellaneous Boutique section:

Fly the unfriendly skies with our "Don't Snake My..." snake!
"Don't Snake My Window Seat" (Thanks to New Line Cinema for licensing CP shopkeepers to create & sell official Snakes On A Plane merch!)
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1725827

Your mom wants to buy these shirts!
"Your Mom is Emo," "Your Mom Ollies" etc... (6 to choose from)
http://www.cafepress.com/melhi/1720125

EV Coming to Market!

I spoke too soon -- it seems there has been someone working to bring an electric car back to market, with longer range and lighter batteries. Tesla Motors is in the process of bringing their all electric Roadster to market.

The Tesla Motors Roadster seats only two, but will feature lithium-ion batteries and boast an amazing per-charge range of 250 miles! (...And this is no hippy-dippy "ugly bug" alternative fuel vehicle, it's a sports car -- click on the link above and see for yourself!)

Cheaper Than a Border Fence

There's more than one way to prevent Pedro from crossing the border to get our jobs!

Click Here For Full Story

(excerpt)
Belden to build $30M Mexican plant, close two U.S. plants
St. Louis Business Journal - 10:34 AM CDT Monday
Print this Article Email this Article Reprints RSS Feeds Most Viewed Most Emailed
Belden CDT Inc. said Monday that it plans to invest about $30 million to build a new Mexican manufacturing plant and outsource the operations of two U.S. plants. The plan is expected to save Belden $12 million annually.

*heavy, heavy sigh*

New Ink Swag.

Sorry for my recent and continued lack of new blog entries -- busy, busy, busy... and, with the campaign, I'm bound to get a lot busier.

For those of you who enjoy taking a look the latest swag in the Melhi Ink store, I have added a couple of new slogans in the Texicalizona (border fence) section ("The Great Wall of Texicalizona -- If we build it they will stop coming" and "The Great Wall of Texicalizona -- America's BIGGEST tourist attraction." Also, by popular demand, I've added two new versions of the peace ribbon to the Peace Ribbon section -- Conservative Red and Patriotic (red, white & blue.)

Smithereens (Song Parody)

"Smithereens"
Written by Melhi, April 12, 2005
To the tune of "Vasoline" by Stone Temple Pilots

(Note: listening to Fuzz Farm's wonderful cover version of the original song, as you read my parody lyrics, will not take you away from this page.)


Won't try their crude alternatives
No sub for Devil's Ale
Too addicted now to break its ho-old

Fix or food? We won't eat
Sacrifice the air we breathe
Kill and die, lie and cheat
Blow it all to smithereens!

Can't fight complete dependency
Pumped up, we've found our grail
Unholy chalice carved in bone

Slaves in our master's liege, we are
So hooked we can't survive
Without the buzz that it provi-ides

We'll destroy all we see
Just to get it on the cheap
Pay the price, ever steep
Got to feed our endless need

We crave the junk... though we curse the price
We'll pay the price... yes we will

Helpless and tremb-l-ing, we are
Strung out and unrefined
Can't quench a thirst that won't subsi-ide

Killing you, killing me
Earth's revealed her swollen teats
Greedy swine, on our knees
Suck-l-ing her gasoline

Even Teflon Wears Out, Eventually

DEVLIN BARRETT, Associated Press Writer
Thu May 11, 6:59 AM ET

WASHINGTON - The government has abruptly ended an inquiry into the warrantless eavesdropping program because the National Security Agency refused to grant Justice Department lawyers the necessary security clearance to probe the matter. (read full article)


Well... isn't that convenient?


In other news...

Laura Bush, whose job approval rating is 61% (despite having no elected or appointed or even PAID position in the administration, to be rated on) does not believe the polls in regards to her husband's 29% (and dropping) job approval rating. She reports, as evidence that her husband is still wildly popular, that at all of the events she attends, the pro-Bush Republicans allowed into those events come up to her to praise her husband by repeating her husband's "stay the course" catch phrase. (We at Melhi Ink are looking forward to the interview where Laura reveals that she's certain she's the prettiest girl in the world and cites as evidence her mother's assurances.)

Curiously, though, Laura Bush will be acting as an unpaid emissary -- appearing at Republican fund raisers and other Republican political events in the stead of her husband (and/or Vice President Dick Cheney) whose low approval and high disapproval ratings (which Laura doesn't believe exist) would only hurt Republican causes and candidates with consituents (whom Laura believes adores her husband and everyone associated with him.)

Millions Trapped in U.S. Data Mine!

CNN asked us, today, if we mind the NSA keeping track of our phone records.

Yes, I mind if the government keeps track of my phone records!

I love my country, I'm not acquainted with or in any way associated with anyone who does not. It is a waste of the taxpayers' money and of our nation's intelligence resources, not only to keep track of how often I phone to get the correct local time and temperature or the frequency and length of my phone conversations with my mother, but to track the similarly useless and mundane information that can be found in the phone records of my friends, family and neighbors, who are good, hard working, patriotic Americans, all!

This is a gross and dangerous misdirection of money, energies and resources that would (and SHOULD) be far better spent gathering, compiling and analyzing intelligence data that is actually useful to the sole and specific purpose of keeping Americans safe from further acts of terrorism!

Hydrogen Cars and Free Beer Tomorrow!

Natural Gas -- Natural gas is an American resource. One in five new public transit vehicles is a natural gas vehicle. Natural gas vehicles are available in two versions. Dedicated vehicles use only natural gas. Bi-fuel have two fueling ports to allow fueling with either natural gas or traditional fuels. Dedicated vehicles are the more efficient option, because the engines are optimized for natural gas. Considerations: Shorter range than traditional fuel vehicles. Requires special certification for operation. Vehicles cost up to $6,000 more than comparable traditional fuel vehicles. Fuel savings depend on local price of natural gas. Cons: Public fueling stations and lighter weight personal & commercial vehicles are not widely available to consumers. Consumers with access to public natural gas fueling stations can, however, buy kits to retrofit traditional fuel vehicles for natural gas at a cost of around $4,000. The extraction process is already damaging ecosystems across all of North America. Natural gas is not a renewable resource, natural gas prices have climbed in recent years due to the slowing of imported natural gas from Canada and the failure of domestic production to keep up with current demands, the need for foreign sources is already creating some of the same international conflicts that exist over our need for foreign oil -- most notably creating tensions with China.. Just as we've already reached peak production with oil, we're expected to reach peak production with natural gas in 2020, at the latest. We will soon face the same crisis with natural gas that we currently face with crude oil. In development: Natural Gas / Hydrogen blends.

EVs (Electric Vehicles) EVs run solely on electricity, stored in onboard batteries. You recharge these vehicles at home, overnight. A small amount of additional charge may be obtained through solar panels built onto the vehicle's roof and/or spoiler and from the braking system. EVs are not a new technology. EVs were on the road and quite popular with consumers dating back to the late 1800s. Considerations: Lower speeds and shorter range than traditional fuel vehicles make these vehicles better suited to in-town driving by low mileage drivers. Recharge time is measured in hours compared to the mere minutes it takes to refuel a traditional fuel vehicle. Batteries add weight and bulk to the vehicle, affecting performance and cargo/passenger space. Consumers can purchase kits to convert traditional fuel cars to EV. Converting your vehicle would cost around $10,000. It is also worth noting that owners of 2004 or newer Toyota Prius hybrids can purchase kits for a mere $45 that will allow them to enable the "EV-only mode" (aka "stealth mode") feature that is available on all European models but is, for some unknown reason, disabled on all U.S. models and left unmentioned in U.S. user manuals. Cons: Manufacturers pulled EVs from the market as California's Zero Emmissions laws were weakened. Toyota was the last to cease production in 2003. Some of these manufacturers began purchasing EVs back on the secondary market specifically to shred them, so that EVs would no longer available to consumers, even on the secondary market. A few EV owners have kept their vehicles and still drive them, but parts and qualified service can be difficult or even impossible to find, so many of these owners have formed and joined EV enthusiasts groups, where members help one another find or even make replacement parts. "Fuel" savings for those few fortunate enough to own an EV are dependent on the price paid for the electricity to recharge these vehicles.. Off-grid consumers already generating a sufficient surplus to maintain charge on an EV would enjoy the maximum savings, but these consumers are also less likely to live in areas where the range & speeds of an EV would serve their needs. Generally, the older the batteries the less land-fill friendly they are. In development: Lighter weight, more efficient batteries for increased speed and range, but no developer has currently set a goal for bringing any EV, improved or otherwise, back to the U.S. market. For EVs to return to market, strong zero emissions and/or alternative fuel laws will have to be passed and protected from those who seek to weaken such laws for their own financial gain in the oil industry.

Ethanol - Ethanol is produced from plants and can be produced domestically. Currently, there are no Ethanol-only (E100) vehicles on the market. Flex-fuel vehicles that use E85 (85% ethanol, 15% gas) and public E85 fueling stations have only limited availability to consumers and are found primarily in the midwest. Flex fuel vehicles reduce, but do not eliminate dependence on fossil fuels. E85 prices are similar to gasoline prices. E85 vehicles are similar in price to traditional-fuel vehicles. E85 emmissions are substantially cleaner than tradional fuel emissions. Cons: Because Ethanol is available only in Ethanol/gas blends, it does not eliminate the use of fossil fuels to meet transportation needs. There is currently an attempt from the political right-wing to spin Ethanol into a more expensive and difficult to produce resource than it has proven to be during its time on the market.

Hydrogen - This is not new technology. Hydrogen cars have been in development and trotted out by the media as the definitive "coming soon!" solution for decades, but much like the joke implied on those "free beer tomorrow" novelty signs, "soon" never means "now." Considerations: There are currently two distinctly different types of hydrogen vehicles in development. One uses hydrogen as fuel and uses an internal combustion engine. The other is a hydrogen electric that uses hydrogen fuel cells (batteries.) Either has the potential to eliminate our dependence on fossil fuels to meet our transportation needs. Cons: There are currently no hydrogen powered vehicles or public fueling stations, available to consumers. While several hydrogen vehicles exist in development and hydrogen is once again being hailed as the solution we'll soon be switching to, there is, in fact, no serious, concerted effort on anyone's part to bring hydrogen vehicles to market. Without that effort, hydrogen is nothing more than a useless talking point.

Bio-Diesel - This diesel fuel is manufactured largely from plant oils, but can also be manufactured from animal fats, it can be produced domestically and requires the same diesel engines currently fueled with petro-diesel. Running your vehicle on pure (B100) bio-diesel would reduce emissions 90% compared to running the same vehicle on pure (B0) petro-diesel. Considerations: Consumers can purchase equipment to produce B100 bio-diesel fuel at home or can purchase larger systems to allow them to operate as B100 suppliers. Consumers in sufficiently warm climates, can also convert some diesel vehicles to run on new/used cooking oil (used cooking oil can often be obtained at no cost from restaurants, but must be well filtered prior to use.) These conversion kits include a second fuel tank, switch and heating system, which help prevent solidified (cold) cooking oil from clogging the fuel system and engine. Kits are available for several diesel vehicles and cost around $500 (labor not included,) but may require the additional purchase and installation of a Bosch fuel pump for compatibility. Diesel engines, excepting those with rubber seals that are easily corroded by cooking oil, are compatible with cooking oil because diesel engines were originally invented & designed to run on peanut oil and have changed very little over the years. Cons: While B-100 does exist, its availability to consumers who do not produce it themselves or buy from a private producer is extremely limited. The government has been dragging its heels on the approval of B-100 or any petro-bio blends higher than B20, citing "more experience with B20 & lower blends" as an excuse to maintain our dependency on fossil fuels. (Note: they have more experience with fossil fuels than they do ANY alternative, so this same excuse can be used to keep any real solution off the market!!) Thus, petro-diesel is usually mixed with bio-diesel and made available in B20 (or less) blends. Petro-bio blends may contain as little as 5% bio-diesel and still be labelled "bio-diesel." at the pump. Bio-diesel consumers whose intent is to eliminate their use of fossil fuels should be aware that it is highly unlikely they're pumping pure B100 bio-diesel at public fuel stations.

Compressed Air - Compressed air vehicles are currently in development in France & Spain. Click here for more info. This is not a new technology, but a new, still-patented, application of the technology with several improvements as research and development have progressed. These vehicles run solely on compressed air -- recharge times are expected to vary from a few minutes at public rapid-recharge stations to four to six hours when charged at home with the electricity-powered compressors that are built into the engine. Some additional recharging is obtained from the air-recovery braking system. . If these vehicles come to market in the U.S., the factories will function as domestic vehicle & parts manufacturing, service, retail sales and public refueling facilities -- giving the added benefit of jobs creation. They also hope to place rapid-recharge stations at regular gas stations to increase the vehicles' daily driving range and make them a viable alternative for a broader consumer market. Considerations: Slower top speeds and shorter range than traditional fuel vehicles, so the overall concerns are currently similar to those of the EVs, but with shorter recharge times and without the noiseless operation of an EV. As development continues, it is hoped that both speed and range will be increased while recharge is decreased. It is planned that consumers may choose to pay extra for "hybrid" models that are also fitted with back-up traditional fueling options, to increase range & speed. The price will be based on the Euro, but the cost for a family-model that will seat 7 and be suitable for car-pooling, as well (similar to a mini van) is expected be around $12,000 (base model) at the dollar's current value against the Euro. Cons: Not yet available to consumers. This new application of compressed air technology still in the development stage. While some franchise licenses have already been sold to potential U.S. manufacturers of these vehicles, no definitive date has been set for bringing air cars into production in any market. The developers are currently seeking investors to continue research and development toward reaching the goal of international mass production.. In Development: Increased speed & range. Decreased recharge time. Non transportation applications of the technology. Large scale public transportation systems.

Blame Pedro First...

Time for a dose of reality.

You know all those menial labor jobs we lazy Americans don't want to do?

Guess what! It's not that we don't want to do them, it's that we want paid a fair wage for doing them. We aren't competing for those jobs because we can't compete for those jobs against people who do those jobs for slave-labor wages paid under the table or worse, who aren't holding jobs, but are themselves held in debt bondage (also known as "indentured servitude" or "slavery.")

It is estimated, by some sources, that on average, an illegal Latino immigrant (the only group of illegal immigrants anyone seems aware of, but FAR from the only group) who's been in the country less than 10 years, earns an average of just 38% of what an American worker would earn. It's actually even less than that when you factor in the burden rate an employer avoids by illegally paying "undocumented wages."

The fact is, American citizens are better off going on welfare and spending those 40+ hours each week with their families than breaking their backs working for the wages some illegal immigrants are working for. It's not that the manual labor segment of the working (or should-be-working) class doesn't want to work, it's that the incentive to work, which wasn't necessarily all that great to begin with in the manual/menial labor sectors, has been stripped away by employers who, more than a century after the abolition of slavery, are still arguing that the U.S. economy can't survive without slaves. Except for some of the gang at Enron, who had absolutely no problem saying it straight out, these employers have adopted more politically correct language, they call it "cheap labor," but it's the same old argument.

Suddenly, the nation is all abuzz about the problem of illegal immigration and how to solve it. There are several proposed solutions, both from politicians and from regular, everyday citizens. Let's examine a few of these bright ideas, shall we?

1. Eliminate public aid -- The idea, here, is that Americans should be cut loose from the government purse strings by abolishing all public aid programs. The idea is that this would force the welfare class into the workforce and force them to compete with illegal immigrants for jobs in the manual labor sector.

What this plan would accomplish is more than just forcing welfare recipients into an even deeper level of poverty within the workforce -- because everyone working or seeking work in the manual and menial trades, not just those who had previously been on welfare, would be forced into competition for jobs.

If I'm competing with people who can usually expect to be paid two dollars an hour, I have to bid lower to get the job. Let's say I offer to do a 40 hr./wk job for a buck-fifty an hour and I get the job. Score one for the displaced American worker, right? Wrong.

At the rate I bid, I'll be working a full time job to gross just $60/wk. -- based on a 52 week work year, that's just $260/mo. or $3,120 per year. Even before deductions are taken out, my yearly earnings won't cover my mortgage payments for a full quarter... much less cover utilities, property taxes, property insurance, groceries, gasoline, automobile insurance & maintainence and any bare-necessity health care expenses that might spring up in my family of six, during the year.

But, let's say I'm not a homeowner. Let's say I'm a renter who's never more than barely scraped by and I've got my family of six crammed into a low-end two bedroom, 1 bath unit. On my new income, I won't be able to cover the $600 or more per month rent payment any better than I could have on nothing and I won't be the only one in this (sinking) boat.

As a result of the decreased standard of living in this class, those who make their livings renting or selling goods and services to this segment of the workforce would be forced to lower rents/prices. In the case of landlords, few, if any, could lower rents into the necesssary price range and still cover expenses, much less continue to make a living.

Thanks to the ripple (or, if you prefer, "trickle up") effect, this plan would effectively lower the overall standard of living for all but the wealthy in the United States and conditions would worsen until they were similar to those that drove the illegal immigrants from their homes, in search of opportunity, in the first place.

If you're worried about America becoming Mexico -- stop thinking language and start thinking ecomony.

2. Felony Immigration -- The idea, here, is to make illegal immigration a felony and to be very aggressive about rounding up all of the illegal immigrants in this country and enforcing the immigration laws.

I'm the first to point out that we may as well not have laws on the books if we're not going to enforce them. Had we enforced the existing laws, all along, this wouldn't be a hot button issue. But, because we haven't enforced these laws, all along, this plan has some serious flaws.

We didn't have the resources to evacuate thousands of our own poor from New Orleans in advance of Katrina, but suddenly, we have the resources and manpower necessary to find, take into custody and transport millions of illegal immigrants, scattered across our nation and trying not to be found, back to their various home countries? Of course we don't.

So, maybe I'm mistaken. We're talking felonies, here, right? Maybe the plan isn't to deport them after we smoke them out of their hidey holes, but to stuff these millions of people into our already overcrowded prisons, where you and I can foot the bill for their room, board and healthcare for ten to twenty.

This plan has no substance, because it isn't workable in the real world, with our limited resources. The people who have proposed this plan are smart, well informed people -- they knew before they proposed it that it's unworkable. They also know it plays well to the emotions of those intentionally uninformed people who are fired up over this issue, but trust others to do their thinking for them. This is just another empty talking point for politicians to shout from the stumps from now until November. Sadly, the real plan (winning votes) behind their proposal will probably be quite successful.

3. Guest workers -- The idea behind this plan is basically to pander to pro-slavery employers who don't want to share the profits with the people who break their backs creating the profits because it's easier to exploit people who are afraid of being rounded up and deported. This is the unwritten law we've been living by, all along -- if it was working, we wouldn't be discussing this issue. The goal here isn't to fix the problem, it's to block us, through legislation, from solving the problem.

This is just legitimizing the exploitation and enslavement of undocumented workers - or, if you prefer analogies, it's like passing a law to allow "selective population control" in the park, between dusk and dawn, so the town can say it no longer has a "serial killer" murdering blondes in the park, at night.

4. Path to legitimacy. -- The idea, here, is that a percentage of undocumented workers will desire the benefits of legal citizenship and will shift to the legitimate workforce. Once shifted, they're less easily exploited and instead of forcing you and I to compete with them at their slave-wage level, they'll start competing with us at our legitimate-wage level. In theory, that's a really great plan and I'd love to get behind this one.

Unfortunately, the plan, while well intentioned, is short sighted and naive. Those who make the shift won't be duking it out with us for those jobs. They'll be as cut out of competition for those jobs as we are because new, easily exploited undocumented workers will continue to replace them, in the workforce. No "documented" worker, whether natural born citizen or naturalized citizen, will be in the running for those jobs.


Hey, I have a novel idea! Let's try enforcing existing labor, wage and anti-slavory laws so it's NOT so simple for employers to exploit immigrant workers and cut natural born & naturalized citizens out of the workforce!

Slavery is already illegal. We banned it with the 13th ammendment of our constitution. It's not illegal to BE a slave. It's illegal to buy, sell, trade or own them. So, instead of rounding up the slaves and flogging them for being slaves, shouldn't we be going after the employers who hold "undocumented workers" in so-called "debt bondage?"

Paying workers "undocumented wages," paying less than the minimum wage, failure to match social security contributions and failure to pay workman's comp are already illegal. The local grocery store would NEVER get by with paying natural born U.S. citizens less than minimum wage, in cash, under the table. So, why are some employers given a pass when they do the same with undocumented workers? Hmm?

Hiring "undocumented workers" is illegal. Period. It doesn't matter what an employer pays them, how an employer pays them or why an employer hired them or even whether you or I like that this is the law. It does matter whether the law is enforced on more than just the occasional prominent household's hiring of a single undocumented babysitter or handyman. There are MILLIONS of undocumented workers -- and that they're called undocumented workers means each of them works SOMEwhere, which means SOMEone hired them.



Now, about our vanishing manufacturing industry and those overseas sweatshops....

Your Moment Of Zen...

(With apologies to Jon Stewart for borrowing the title from his brilliant closing segment.)

KOLR-10 of Springfield Missouri reports that a federal judge has sentenced Omari Ali Zackery, 28, to nine years in federal prison without parole for the attempted robbery of the TelComm Credit Union in Springfield. Zachary had pled guilty to the charge, last April and had been found guilty, last November, on a separate charge of using a handgun in the attempt.

In other news...

Jack Abramoff and his former partner, Adam Kidan , were each sentenced to 5 years, 10 months (the minimum sentence,) plus 3 years' probation for successfully defrauding investors of 60 million dollars in a casino investment scheme that is believed to have played a part in the slaying of casino owner Konstantinos "Gus" Boulis (in whose murder both Abramoff and Kidan deny having any role.)

Abramoff and Kidan remain free from prison, however, in return for their continued cooperation with the investigation of Boulis' death. Their continued cooperation, to the satisfaction of prosecutors in the Boulis case, could result in their sentences being reduced even further.


(In regards to both cases) What happened to "tough on crime?"

Politicians Say The Scariest Things...

Senate Majority Leader, anti-abortion champion and Presidential hopeful Bill Frist, (currently under investigation for insider trading regarding his sale of stock in his family's HCA Inc. hospital chain, a for-profit abortion provider) in a recent Associated Press interview:

"As a surgeon, I did my best work when people were sound asleep, cutting out their hearts, putting new hearts in. And now what I need to do, everybody says, is do your best work and not put people to sleep. That's what I'll work on."

Oh...kay... Did he just say he wants us awake and screaming when he rips our still-beating hearts from our chests with his bare hands?!?!

Cripes, and I thought old "Shoot-em-in-the-face" Cheney was a tough old bird-hunter!

He Must Know What He's Doing... Right?

Ok, let's say that a nasty radioactive "present" is in a cargo container in a ship on it's way to the U.S. Our only hope of thwarting this terrorist attack is one of our Bahamas Ports, where the ship is to dock and the cargo is to be scanned for the last time before reaching U.S. soil. This is your life, your family's lives, your friends' lives... the lives of everyone you know and everyone you wish you knew on the line. Who do you think should be present for this scan? Who shouldn't be?

George Bush thinks a Hong Kong firm (with strong ties to China's government, cited by military intelligence as a potential security risk and conduit for contraband cargo and having a subsidiary prevented in 2003, from buying out a telecommunications firm for national security reasons) should be put in charge and that no U.S. customs officials -- or anybody else, for that matter -- should oversee, double check or even be present for the scan. If they say a shipment is safe, by golly, it's safe!

Bush is so sure about placing the safety of our nation in this firm's hands that he didn't waste their time, his time or our nation's time with a bidding process that would have forced them to compete for the job. He's so sure that he didn't consider, for one moment, the idea of trusting Americans with American security.


Meanwhile, in other news...

• Indentured servitude (aka slavery) is alive and thriving in America, thanks to the estimated 50,000 Chinese immigrants smuggled into the U.S., primarily through our ports, each year.
  
  
• Chinese troops are training troops south of our borders in Latin America.
  
  
• Our manufacturing industry continues its exodus to Asian sweatshops at the behest of the Big Box industry, as working class Americans remain unemployed or under-employed.
  

Hope He Remembers to Post-Date His Decision!

Justice Scalia, Tuesday August 5, 1986, responding to a confirmation hearing question from Sen. Kennedy about whether he'd overturn Roe v. Wade:

"I mean, if I can say why. Let us assume that I have people arguing before me to do it or not to do it. I think it is quite a thing to be arguing to somebody who you know has made a representation in the course of his confirmation hearings, and that is, by way of condition to his being confirmed, that he will do this or do that. I think I would be in a very bad position to adjudicate the case without being accused of having a less than impartial view of the matter."

Yes, it's quite a thing to argue before a U.S. Supreme Court Justice who admitted at his confirmation hearing that he has no intention of being impartial in your case. Apparantly, though, it's quite another thing to argue before a U.S. Supreme Court Justice who admitted to an overseas audience, just weeks earlier, that he has no intention of being impartial in your case.

The AP reports on a NewsWeek story:

"Justice Antonin Scalia reportedly told an overseas audience this month that the U.S. Constitution does not protect foreigners held at America's military prison in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba."

"...The comments came just weeks before Justices were to take up an appeal from a detainee at Guantanamo Bay."

Ok, I give up. Why, exactly, is one of our Supreme Court Justices speaking to and taking questions from a Swiss (or any foreign) audience about ANYthing?

Live Blogging

A few moments ago, George W. Bush spoke to an audience in Cleveland of signs of success in Iraq. He described these signs in one Iraqui city, citing things like electricity and water being turned back on, the sounds of construction crews rebuilding the city and the sight of markets re-opening. He described a city awakening anew and thriving.

Meanwhile, New Orleans is still a city littered with debris and covered in mud with businesses that remain closed and people who remain displaced from homes no longer tenable in neighborhoods left to rot.

What happened to "America first?"

Bloggin' On Blago

Rod Blagojevich, the first Democrat Governor of Illinois in 26 years, inherited from his Republican predecessors, a staggering deficit of 5 billion dollars -- by far, the largest deficit in the history of Illinois.

In fewer than four years, Blagojevich has reorganized and successfully balanced our state budget without raising state income taxes or state sales taxes.

How are we Illinoisans suffering from Blagojevich's budget tightening? Are we sacrificing our children, working families and seniors? Far from it!

We're the only state in the U.S. whose kids, ALL OF THEM, are guaranteed health insurance coverage! We've also insured hundreds of thousands of our seniors and working adults!

Education funding was increased by 2.3 billion and our graduation standards were raised for the first time in more than 20 years.

60,000 new jobs were created in Illinois and with our minimum wage of $6.50, we're one of just 16 states with a minimum wage above the $5.15 national minimum wage.

Crime rates are down, in every category, across the entire state. Traffic fatalities in the state are at a 61 year low.

What's more, because our state is increasingly pro-kids and pro-working families under Blagojevich, more pregnant women are choosing motherhood and the number of abortions performed in Illinois has dropped to the lowest numbers since 1973!!

We got all of this and more! From a Democrat.

A lot of people believe in the Republicans' favorite campfire tale bogie-man... the evil tax and spend Democrat. But, the truth is that both parties tax because both parties spend. (A tax cut, at any level of government, that isn't matched to or exceeded by budget cuts is an expensive ploy for popularity points with costly, long term, ramifications.)

If you don't think Republicans like taxing us every bit as much as Democrats do, it might interest you to learn that it was a Republican Governor -- Richard Ogilvie -- who, in 1969, instituted the Illinois state income tax and that each and every increase, since then, has come from Republican Governors! One of our most popular Republican Governors, Jim Thompson, not only passed Illinois' largest-ever income tax increase, he also gave us a whopping 25% increase in our state sales tax!

Some Blagojevich critics want our health care for kids and the increased education funding undone. But, by and large, we Illinoisans like that our kids are healthier, smarter and safer and that it's getting a little easier to afford to raise them here.

The candidates vying for the Republican nomination in the governor's race are vowing to put this state back on track. What they've failed to take into account is that if we wanted to go where that train was taking us, we wouldn't have disembarked at the last stop.

A Conversation Piece

(An imaginary conversation with President Bush)

Bush, to a conference of the National Newspaper Association March 10, 2006:

"Dubai services more of our military, military ships, than any country in the world."

Us: We're glad you brought that up! We have a few bones to pick about that, too.

Don't get us wrong. We're totally on board with the idea that Ed's Shop & Tank, conveniently located on a street corner near us, is too small and not so conveniently located to the overseas ports where our military ships need to be refueled & restocked and that, until the inevitable launch of a Wal-Mart one-stop-Naval-shopping flotilla capable of servicing, refueling and restocking entire fleets, we have no choice but to rely on companies located in the areas our ships are making port.

We don't like that a foreign government, friend, foe or neutral is privy to so much sensitive information about our Naval fleet. We don't like that U.A.E.'s purchase of Inchcape Shipping Services from a private British firm was allowed to go through silently and with, as far as we can ascertain, no scrutiny, just as you'd hoped the Dubai ports deal would go through.

But, you still haven't figured out what it is that we don't like about the Dubai ports deal, have you?

• We don't like that our national security is being treated like a mundane commodity to be traded on the international market. We don't see our national security as a head of hog or a bushel of corn and we're deeply concerned that you do seem to see it that way.
  
• We don't like that you whipped our nation into a years-long "America First, terrorists lurking in every shadow, don't trust any country that isn't a democracy -- especially if it's in the middle east, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11!" frenzy only to turn around and pay a foreign, middle eastern government that isn't a democracy and was home to two of the 9/11 hijackers to take over such an important part of our national security AND to take any jobs that go along with providing that security.
  
• We don't like that supporting the U.A.E., instead of supporting the U.S.A. is the one and only thing you've been willing to buck Congress over, in the entirety of your Presidency.

Bush: "I'm concerned about a broader message this issue could send to our friends and allies around the world, particularly in the Middle East,"

Us: We'd love to believe that, we really would. But that's not the tune you were humming about broader messages sent to our friends and allies around the world when you took us to war in Iraq. You told us, then, that what our allies think about us isn't as important to you as our interests and security. We believed you meant that. We still believe you meant that. So, we suspect that what you're really concerned about is that the trade talks that were supposed to take place between the U.S. and the U.A.E., this week, have been postponed in the wake of the Dubai ports deal collapse.

Now, let's see, what tradeable commodity was likely to be discussed at these talks? Was it our national security? No, those talks are what got these talks postponed. Was it the export of goods manufactured in the good old U.S. of A? Couldn't be that -- we've already exported our manufacturing industry. It was oil, wasn't it, Mr. Bush? The "drug" you made such a point of telling us we're addicted to (and you were right -- we are.) You're worried that our strong, patriotic, bi-partisan objections to the ceding of our national security to a foreign government might have ticked off our drug dealer, aren't you? If that's what is really behind this, you can give it to us straight -- we're a strong people, we can take it. Give us a chance.

It's Hard to Find "Good" Bush Cronies, These Days.

And to think... if not for an evil, partisan attack on the Bush administration by obstructionist Democrats who couldn't just approve all of Bush's nominees on Bush's assurances that he knows them and they're good people Claude Allen would have been a U.S. Circuit Court Justice instead of just the Bush administration's domestic policy advisor.

If you haven't heard the news, yet and you're confused as to what the heck I'm on about...

Claude Allen, Bush's domestic policy advisor and formerly a Bush nominee for the 4th U.S. Circuit Court was busted, in January, by a Target store after two years (that they have video evidence to support) of purchasing items, returning to the store with the receipt for those items and an empty Target bag, filling the bag with items identical to those on the receipt and then taking them to customer service for a refund.

In 2004, Democrats had major issues and serious questions about Bush's nomination of Allen and threatened to filibuster -- the neo-con faction of the Republican party blasted Democrats for daring to have, much less voice concerns and the threat to filibuster was painted in the right wing press as a full frontal attack on Bush, minorities, Christianity, Republicans, the courts and the nation.

The Whitehouse was notified shortly after Allen's arrest and a few weeks later, Allen resigned his position alleging that it was to spend more time with his family.

Big Box Blues (Song Parody)

Dyin' For The Discount Store
(Big Box Blues)
By Melhi written: Mar. 9, 2006
To the tune of:
I've Been Working On the Railroad

Clicking the link to hear a webbed copy of the original song, while you read the parody lyrics, will not take you away from this page.


Dyin' For The Discount Store

I've been working in the fact'ry
's where I've earned my pay
I've been working in the fact'ry
But they closed it down today

Can't pronounce the place it's goin'
Some-where in Asia, I' been told
Gave our jobs to little children
Five or six years old

Can't pay what I owe
Everyone I know's
Workin' in the discount sto-o-ore

Gonna lose my home
Everything I own
Lose it to the discount store!

They can make it cheaper with minors
Slashin' all the wages down low
Mark it up a little bit higher
Grow a bigger discount store,

And it's working...

Squeezed the little stores out
Shut all the factories do-ow-ow-own
No more shoppin' around
Curse the mighty discount store!
Oh
F*** the mighty discount store!

I've been sleepin' on the sidewalk
Near a sewer grate
Since they boarded up the whole block
And the traffic went away

Now the tumble weeds are blowin'
No-body's earning any more
Man the dream is dead, we're dying

For the discount store!
Ohhhhhh....
F*** the discount stooooore!

Support The Troops!!

At long last, someone has endeavored to find out what our troops serving in Iraq think about the situation. Anyone who adorns their vehicle, home or body with or who utters the phrase "Support the troops" should pay very close attention to this poll. The results are both telling and appalling.


72 percent believe the United States should exit Iraq within a year. Only 23 percent agree with Bush that US troops should stay in Iraq "as long as it takes." Even among our Marines, who were the least likely to support troop withdrawal within a year, a majority, 58%, think withdrawal is the best course of action.

A whopping 85% said the main US mission was "to retaliate for Saddam's role in the 9/11 attacks." This is appalling because Saddam had absolutely no role in the Sept. 11 attacks -- and more than anyone, our troops should be fully informed as to the true nature of their mission. Further, 77 percent said that the reason for the Iraq war was/is "to stop Saddam from protecting Al-Qaeda in Iraq." This is appalling because there was no Al-Qaeda in Iraq until we toppled Saddam's regime, laying Iraq's borders wide open for them to cross.

As appalling as these numbers are, they are also telling because our troops honestly believe these things with every fiber of their beings. They're fighting for what I've said, all along, that they're fighting for -- America. Not for Iraqi democracy, not to find WMDs, not for cheaper oil, but FOR AMERICA. This isn't A just and noble cause, it's THE just and noble cause... a cause our troops would NEVER dismiss lightly. Yet, a majority of our troops STILL think Iraq is such a lost cause that it's time to pull out. That says more about how bad and how hopeless the situation is over there than any activist, pundit, blogger, politician or news journalist has even scratched the surface of conveying to us.

If you want to support our troops and don't know what to do (something I've heard a lot of people say, over these last few years,) you can follow my link to the poll, find out what our troops think, print out copies, run a highlighter over the most important findings, write a note in the margin if you like, and send it to your Senators, Representative and President. Write letters to the editors of newspapers in your area, citing the poll results.

When benefits are cut to our troops, their families and our veterans... speak up about it. Blog on it, post to appropriate forums about it, send letters to Washington, organize protests. Make some noise!! If they can fight for us, surely we can fight for them.

Wow...

The Birmingham News, yesterday, published an 8 page spread of never-before-seen civil rights era photos that chronicle the civil rights struggle in Alabama. The negatives were found by a photography intern who was searching a supply closet for a lens. They'd been hidden in plain sight, in the closet, for decades.

The photos that were published in the Birmingham news as well as hundreds more that didn't make it into the spread, the full story behind the spread and interviews with photographers, civil rights leaders, people who appear in the photos, etc, can be seen online at: http://www.al.com/unseen



Thanks to Hooloovoo for sending me the link.

Anger Management

Have you ever been so angry about a topic you couldn't discuss it or blog on it or coax the humor, however miniscule and deeply buried it might be, from the topic?

That, dear reader, is why I've been remiss in discussing the ports/Dubai issue, here.

There is simply no vitriolic spew venomous enough to express the intensity & depth of my anger and, while I subscribe to the philosophy that there is humor in all things, I am too blinded by my rage to find that needle in this putrid haystack, yet.

My muse is dumbstruck and instead of whispering quips and songs and poetry and ideas in my ear, faster than I can hope to record them, she fuels the fires of my rage by looping a collection of soundbytes ... George W. Bush repeatedly mentioning the deaths of our fellow countrymen at the hands of terrorists on 9/11, Bush's oft-repeated campaign promises not to cede national security to foreign powers and, finally, to one honest soundbyte from the post-SOTU damage-control spin: "He didn't mean it literally."

• U.A.E. is one of only three nations to have recognized the Taliban as a legitimate government.
  
• The Taliban, not Saddam's government, harbored bin Laden and Al Queda.
  
• The Dubai company in whom we're being forced to entrust our national security, via our ports, is owned not by stock holders in the company nor by independent businessmen, but by the government of U.A.E.
  

Technically, Bush isn't "ceding" our national security to a foreign power. He's not even selling it to a foreign power. He's giving it to them and paying them to take it... paying them with our (the working class's) hard earned tax dollars and, thanks to Bush's runaway deficit spending, the hard earned tax dollars of multiple generations of our progeny.

Congress is outraged -- not just on my side of the political aisle, but across most of the political spectrum. I had begun to doubt whether there was any real patriotism left on the other side of the aisle. Discovering that there is still some genuine love for this nation among my right-wing countrymen has been the only bright spot, for me, in this whole thing. But, even with a non-partisan, truly patriotic effort in Congress to protect our ports and our nation, Bush has promised to do the one thing that NOTHING, so far, has been important enough to him for him to even consider -- override the Congress with a veto.

With this veto promise, Bush has proven that his decision to hand our national security over to the U.A.E. is the single most important goal he's set in the entirety of his Presidency, to date.

We've lost our jobs to foreigners. We've given up our rights and freedoms so that people in foreign lands may enjoy them, instead. We've drenched foreign sands with the blood of our children. We're so heavily in debt to foreign powers that they own more of our country than we do. Now, we're handing our national security over to the U.A.E. government and we're supposed to accept it because we're part of the global economy.

We were never part of the global economy. We were the sacrifice to its master -- led willingly and blindly, on false promises of eternal financial salvation, to the altars of Greed where we were laid bare and bled to death by its high priests.

(Not) In Other News....

George W. Bush, from a campaign speech delivered October 2, 2004 in Cuyahoga Falls, OH:

Senator Kerry's approach to foreign policy would give foreign governments veto power over national security decisions.

But, that's exactly what Bush was already doing and continues to do, with his fiscal policies.

Thanks to tax cuts for the wealthy, elimination of the surplus, runaway deficit spending and job losses in the working class, foreign interests hold the lien to America.

Our lienholders include (but are not by any means limited to) Japan, China and OPEC. Yes, OPEC. That they hold the existing liens cedes a great amount of power over both our domestic and our foreign policies to these outside powers -- that we continue to seek additional loans from these powers makes us beholden to them.

If you watched the news, yesterday, you probably know that Cheney shot a guy in the face and that Entwistle returned from England to face charges of murdering his wife and infant daughter.

BUT... if you watched C-span, yesterday afternoon, you learned that in the 2007 budget, we will pay more interest on the national debt, most of which will go to foreign banks, not back into the American economy, than we'll be spending on homeland security, education and our veterans, combined -- and not just a little more, a LOT more. Further, we will NOT be paying down the principal on the existing debt.

Had you watched this presentation, you would also have learned that, if we did not have to allocate such a huge portion of our budget to paying the interest on these debts, the same money could instead provide approximately one million dollars per day to each and every Congressional district in the United States, for the entire year.

American children, seniors and veterens are among those who will be affected by deep domestic spending cuts in our 2007 budget -- because we must, instead, send our tax dollars to Japan, China, OPEC, etc.

...And next year, the interest payments that will have to be allocated for in the 2008 budget will only be higher and the percentage of the budget that will be available to allocate for American interests will only be lower, because we are going to continue to borrow even more from foreign interests.

Meanwhile, the wealthiest Americans, those who do the least amount of work to earn their incomes, will be getting yet another tax cut, placing an even greater portion of this debt squarely on the shoulders of the working class -- who already have little or no remaining disposable income thanks to rising costs for basic necessities such as fuel, utilities, food, health care, home/car/health insurance, etc.

THIS is what you should be hearing about on the news. THIS is what's really important. THIS isn't funny.

Guess What Else Is Less Than 1/10" In Diameter

Cheney will finally break his silence regarding the non-incident that left Harry Whittington (aka "The guy Dick Cheney shot in the face") in almost completely unharmed condition in an ICU trauma ward.

Mr. Cheney, in a stunning display of courage, has agreed to pop out of his hidey-hole to sit down for an exclusive Fox "News" interview, today. The interview will take place at 2:pm and Fox has promised to milk excerpts to death for ratings leading up to the official airing, scheduled for 6:pm.

Unlike a full press interview, where we might expect the Veep to be subjected to such irrelevant, troop-disparaging, America-hating, National-security-jeopardizing, unanswerable hypothetical questions as "Why did you wait so long to go public?" or "Are you implying that you, personally, administered medical care to Mr. Whittington for a full 18 hours?," or "You waited HOW long to inform even the President?!" we can trust the bastions of non-partisan, America-loving fairness, balance and truth at Fox "News" to stick to the important and tough questions on the minds of Americans. Questions like... "What can we do to help ensure that you receive a medal or some other prestigious honor for selflessly leaping into action to save Harry's life, letting your quarry get away?" or "Why did Harry spoil your shot?"

What Condition His Condition Is In.

From an AP story on the condition of Harry Whittington (aka The guy Dick Cheney shot in the face.)

Asked whether the pellet could move farther into his heart and become fatal, hospital officials said that was a hypothetical question they could not answer.

Whoa... major case of deja vu! Hypothetical... can't answer... That sounds sooo familiar. *shiver* OH! Wait a minute! Of course it does -- how could I forget the Gonzalez confir... *gulp*

HOLY CRAP!!!

R.I.P. Harry

(Heart) Breaking News

Harry Whittington (aka The guy Dick Cheney shot in the face,) is back in ICU, having suffered complications from the shooting peppering incident.

It seems a birdshot pellet has somehow managed to lodge in his heart and cause a mild heart attack, despite barely breaking the skin and the extent of damage being a speckling of raised red spots that resemble chicken pox. Doctors are reportig that Mr. Whittington will have to remain in the hospital for at least another seven days and that his condition will be monitored closely.

White House officials, meanwhile, are having fun with the shooting, getting off some good-natured ribs at the Veep's expense.

***Live Blogging Mode Engaged***

THIS JUST IN, AS I WAS TYPING!!!

CNN has just downgraded the lodging of that pellet in Mr. Whittington's heart and the resulting mild heart attack, as was reported by one of Whittington's doctors, on CNN, just moments ago, to the pellet merely "brushing up against" Whittington's heart and causing some "complications."

Melhi Ink would like to wish CNN God-speed in their ongoing efforts to cure Mr. Whittington by supper time.

See Dick? See Harry? See Dick shoot Harry in the face?

Another of my predictions came true! Yesterday, Harry Whittington (aka "The guy Cheney shot in the face,") was still Cheney's friend and I described him as Cheney's "(probably now former)" friend. Today, the press has officially downgraded Mr. Whittington from Cheney's friend to "Republican contributer."

Spooky, isn't it?

Nothing has been going right for the Bush administration, lately. They just can't seem to catch a break. And now, Cheney has to go and shoot some old guy in the face.

I'm so glad this shooting was just an accident and not a cleverly orchestrated plot to distract our attention away from all the really important stuff that's going on. Because, if it was, I'd have to swallow my Democrat pride and give props where they're due by saying, "WOW -- way to take one for the team, Harry!! Abramoff and Libby could sure learn a thing or two from you!"

Be vewy, vewy quiet... I'm hunting wah-yuhs!

Ok, so apparantly Harry Whittington (aka, the guy Dick Cheney shot in the face, Saturday,) wasn't so terribly injured by the shotgun blast to his face and chest. According to CNN, it left him with some little red spots that look like chicken pox.

So, if it resulted in barely a flesh wound, what the heck put the guy in the ICU trauma ward for more than 24 hours?

Was Cheney field-dressing him before paramedics arrived?!

"It's a bird, it's a... Oops!"

Cheney accidentally shot his 78 year old (probably now former) friend in the face and chest while Quayle quail hunting, yesterday.

Oops.

Harry Whittington (aka, the guy Cheney shot, yesterday,) is said to be in stable condition in the ICU trauma ward.

But rest easy, dear reader. You see, Cheney didn't put a bullet into the guy, he just peppered him. Whew! Now, isn't that better than what you were picturing when you first heard that he'd shot someone? You bet it is!

Even CNN, clearly the most evil America-hating news channel on the planet, is assuring us that it was more similar to pelting him with a bunch of B.B.s than actually shooting him.

Apparantly, this was such a non-shooting-like shooting that even CNN can't find anything in it to blow out of proportion with their liberal bias to fulfill their devious mission of damaging Cheney! If even they are cutting the veep some slack, we can be sure that this whole thing was not at all similar to Cheney mistaking his long-time pal for a wee little bird and putting the geezer in Intensive Care by pumping him full of buckshot!!

It's just an amusing, harmless oopsie we'll all be laughing about -- after Mr. Whittington gets out of ICU.

I don't know about you, but I can hardly wait to hear all about how Cheney was both the hero and victim in this whole "A funny thing happened while I was out quail hunting..." story.

To Colbert Is Human... (unless it's only half human!)

Stephen Colbert, formerly of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart and currently of The Colbert Report provides us, the Colbert Nation, with our minimum daily recommended allowance of truth.

Or does he?

Week after week, we've tuned in to Stephen's Threat Down segment to arm ourselves with the knowledge that bears are the biggest threat facing America, today. By now, most of us are well equipped and prepared to deal with the bear-orist threats that hang over us like a pall. ...a huge, snarling, sharp toothed, razor clawed pall.

Well, Mr. Colbert, it turns out you're only half right! As we learned from The State Of The Union Address, the biggest threat facing Americans, today, is not bears, but roving bands of genetically engineered man-bear hybrid monsters!

Since man-bears are likely to be smarter than the average bear, this is no ordinary boo-boo. Oh, no.

While these demon man-bear sleeper cells have been preparing to come out of hybernation to topple our democracy and feast on our flesh, we haven't prepared for them, at all. If they came out of their cave-condos, today, we'd be at their mercy -- human picnic baskets!

For the sake of our nation... nay, our very species... I hope Stephen corrects this rare Colbert-or in his next installment of the Threat Down. The public must be warned!

Gay Marriage -- An Eight Part Series

In this series, I address and/or correct each of the following eight points often raised by gay marriage opponents:


Part 1
"Marriage" is a religious word

Part 2
Marriage is a religious institution and state should never have gotten into the business of marriage

Part 3
Legalizing gay marriage, as opposed to gay "civil unions," would violate the separation of Church and State by forcing churches to marry gay couples in violation of the tenets of their faith

Part 4
Gay marriages would set legal precedent that would open the door to incestuous marriage

Part 5
Same-gendered marriage would bestow "special" rights/privileges on gays.

Part 6
If it's "anything goes!" so long as you aren't already closely related, legal recognition of gay marriage will lead to all sorts of terrible things... bestiality marriage, polygamy, pedophilic marriage, exploitation by straights for monetary or other gains, etc.!

Part 7
Gay marriage isn't natural and shouldn't be allowed because gay couples can't produce offspring from their unions!!!

Part 8
You can't change our laws for something that affects only a small percentage of Americans.

Part 8 -- Gay Marriage Series

• You can't change our laws for something that affects only a small percentage of Americans.

We can, we do and we always have. . Slavery was outlawed -- slaves were not the majority population. Interracial marriages were given legal recognition -- those seeking to marry outside their race were not the majority population. We've strengthened and protected the rights of the handicapped -- the handicapped are not the majority population. Etc…. Legislating on behalf of "the least among us" is a path well trod because, as Americans, we legislate for the greater good, not necessarily the greater number.

Further, those who are seeking to ban gay marriages are doing exactly that!! They are seeking to make a change to state laws and/or to our constitution that would place an official limitation on the rights of that same small minority of people.

It bears noting, here, that legal recognition of same-gendered unions wouldn't necessarily apply only to "gay" couples. As I discussed in a previous installment, same-gendered marriages would be entered into for all the reasons opposite gendered marriages are currently entered into.

For example, platonic "estate marriages" are and long have been a very common practice among seniors. Legal recognition of same-gendered marriages would help to level the playing field for female senior citizens seeking estate protection from greedy relatives through marriage to a trusted friend. Women tend to live longer, thus single senior females greatly outnumber single senior males and a much higher percentage of senior males than senior females currently have the option to take advantage of these protections.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 7 -- Gay Marriage Series

• Gay marriage isn't natural and shouldn't be allowed because gay couples can't produce offspring from their unions.

Female senior citizens in opposite-gendered relationships can't produce offspring, either. But we allow them to remain married and even to enter into new opposite-gendered marriages, after they are no longer able to conceive and bear children. Lots of people, for a wide variety of reasons, are unable to produce offspring, choose not to produce offspring or choose to cease producing offspring. Currently, all of these people are allowed to remain in or enter into new opposite-gendered marriages that are recognized as legal unions, by the state.

According to this reasoning against same-gendered marriages, any existing opposite-gendered marriage should be rendered null & void and entrance into a new marriage denied if either spouse or would-be spouse is found to be unable to produce offspring or is unwilling to maintain an active sexual relationship for the purpose of producing offspring.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 6 -- Gay Marriage Series

• If it's "anything goes!" so long as you aren't already closely related, legal recognition of gay marriage will lead to all sorts of terrible things... bestiality marriage, polygamy, pedophilic marriage, exploitation by straights for monetary or other gains, etc.!

Rest assured, all of the age, species and other restrictions that currently apply to opposite-gendered marriages, would also apply to same-gendered marriages and all of the ways people might exploit same-gendered marriage are already being exploited by people in opposite-gendered marriages.

All of the things that those who oppose same-gendered marriages are afraid same-gendered marriages might lead to can already be arrived at, by exactly the same logic, through the existing recognition of opposite-gendered marriages. Recognizing same-gendered marriages neither increases nor decreases the likelihood that those feared scenarios will come to pass.

The reasons for recognizing same-gendered marriages are the same as the reasons for continuing to recognize opposite-gendered marriages. However, some of the reasons given for banning same-gendered marriages would, if officially cited as reasons behind the ban, inadvertently set precedent that could later be used to ban marriages of some opposite-gendered couples (most notably senior citizens and couples who are unable to procreate, naturally,) to cease legal recognition of clergy-joined unions or even to do away with legal recognition of ALL marriages.

NOTE: There is already a small but growing number of activists on the anti-gay-marriage side of the issue who are on that side of the issue because they are anti-marriage, period. These people are, indeed, planning to use the precedent set by gay-marriage bans as a means to end legal recognition of any marriage. If you are among those who are worried about how legalizing same-gendered marriage might affect your opposite-gendered marriage, you should be aware of this movement and also worry about how banning gay marriage might affect your hetero marriage.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 5 -- Gay Marriage Series

• Same-gendered Marriage would bestow "Special" Rights/Privileges On Gays.

Regardless of any of the reasons a couple might choose to marry, establishing close familial ties where none exist, otherwise, is the sole purpose for the legal existence and recognition of marriage in today's American society.

Note that you are not forbidden, by law, from marrying ANY relative, only from marrying those relatives who are already very closely related to you -- first cousins, your siblings, the siblings of your parents & grandparents and those relatives who are in direct lineage to you (children, grandchildren, parents, grandparents, etc...) If you are unmarried and you die, today, these relatives, alone, are closely related enough to you to be counted among your surviving kin and heirs.

These people already enjoy the most important of the so-called "special privileges" that you bestow on and receive from a spouse of opposite gender, through marriage: the rights of next-kinship.

Let's say you're a man who's been in a tragic car accident, you're lying in a coma and, as it happens, you've been in a committed 20 year incestuous relationship with Mom or Sis. She's already very closely related and thus, already one of your next of kin. As a close relative, she can visit you in the hospital, speak with your doctor about your condition, petition the court to become your legal guardian, make decisions regarding your care, see to your final arrangements, attend your funeral and inherit your estate, as per your wishes. That you shared a home, as adults, in the years preceding your tragic accident, only strengthens her position as your closest surviving heir, should another close relative seek to usurp her. You didn't have to marry her to give her those protections.

If your incestuous relationship has been with a relative who's not as closely related as your mom or sister, but is still too closely related to marry, legally, you can protect these close relatives from closer relatives with a living will and a last will and testament. Any will, living or final, can be contested and overturned, but when you've named close relatives in these documents, you make it MUCH harder for other relatives, even those who are more closely related to you, to overturn than if you'd named unrelated or distantly related persons.

Now, let's say it wasn't Mom or Sis you were involved with, but a boyfriend of 20 years, with whom you've built and shared a life. Let's say, too, that Mom and Sis are homophobic gay-haters who disowned you the day you came out to them, haven't spoken to you since that day and have never even met your partner. For all intents and purposes, you've been dead to Mom and Sis for a couple of decades or more, already -- all that's left is to bury your body.

Even if you and your partner have living wills, legal last wills and testaments with every t carefully crossed and every i carefully dotted AND you have taken the extra precaution of forming a corporation or limited partnership to further protect one another's interests, your partner is still not related to you. That you shared a home, as a adults, in the years prior to your tragic accident makes you nothing more than roommates.

Your doctor cannot discuss your medical condition with him. Your Mom and Sis can not only step in and successfully bar him from your bedside in your final moments of life, they can petition the courts to become your legal guardians, gaining control of your medical care, access to your money (even if every penny of it is held jointly with your partner and your partner is the only one of the two of you who had an income during that 20 years!) and take over your share of control in your corporation or limited partnership.

They can prevent your partner from having any input, at all, on your final arrangements and bar him from attending your funeral to say his final good-byes.

Because you've named a person unrelated to you, Mom and Sis can easily contest and over-turn the terms of both your living will and your last will and testament. As your closest living heirs, they can force your partner to sell the home you've shared, to give them "their" half of the proceeds of its sale (again, this is true even if he's the only one of the two of you who had an income during your years together, and he, alone, paid for the home you shared and held jointly as a couple!)

Legally, they are your next of kin and your closest living heirs. The man you've built and shared a life with for the last 20 years is, legally, nobody to you.

Not only could Mom and Sis easily take half of everything you and your partner held jointly in addition to everything you held separately from your partner, if you did form that corporation or limited partnership, your partner could suddenly find himself incorporated or partnered, against his will and yours, with two people who inherited your interest in that "business" and who've never had any use for him or for you... and they could use that to wreak havoc on what he has left of the life you once shared.

This hypothetical example isn't a "COULD happen" scenario -- this is a "DOES happen" scenario.

Now, let's switch gears one last time and say that, prior to your tragic accident, the laws had changed and you had legally married the man you'd shared your life with for 20 years. Your husband would be your legal next of kin, just as a wife would have been. As such, your doctor can discuss your condition with him. He cannot be barred from your bedside and robbed of those last precious moments with you. He can petition the courts to be named your legal guardian. Your living will, if you have one and your last will and testament can still be contested and overturned, as any will can be, but because you've named a spouse, particularly a spouse with whom you've had a long term committed relationship, it's a LOT harder for another relative to overturn. Your husband can see to the final arrangements you had discussed with him in those somber, private moments when you discussed things neither of you wanted to think about. He can say his final good-byes at your funeral. You can pass in peace, knowing you've protected your spouse.

Protecting the ones we share and build our lives with isn't a "special privilege," it's a basic human right.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 4 -- Gay Marriage Series

• Gay marriages would set legal precedent that would open the door to incestuous marriage

My knee-jerk reaction to this argument is always:
So what? If marrying your mom or your sis is what floats your boat, it's no skin off my nose who you marry and I'd rather you marry YOUR mom or sister than marry MY mom or sister and later put her through the horror, pain and embarrassment of discovering what you've been doing behind her back throughout your marriage.

My second knee-jerk reaction is to point out that so-called "hetero marriage" might lead to legal recognition of marriages between opposite gendered kin and should be banned before it does.

But, my knee jerk reactions to this ignorant argument aside, the fact remains that legal recognition of same-gendered marriages won't lead to legal recognition of marriage between very close family members for the same reason legal recognition of opposite-gendered marriage hasn't led to legal recognition of marriages between very close family members of opposite gender:

It isn't necessary to marry a close relative to establish a legally recognized familial tie to that person.

(More on this topic in my next installment.)

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 3 -- Gay Marriage Series

• Legalizing gay marriage, as opposed to gay "civil unions," would violate the separation of Church and State by forcing churches to marry gay couples in violation of the tenets of their faith.

This is BS! Furthermore, those who seeded this propaganda into the general populace KNOW it is BS!! They're counting on your ignorance to ensure that their bigotry will continue to be legitimized through our marriage laws.

Churches are currently free and regularly exercise their rights to refuse to marry any opposite-gendered couple, without being under any obligation to provide ANY reason for their refusal, much less one that speaks directly to the tenets of that church's faith.

Not every religious group believes and/or teaches that same-gendered relationships are sinful or an abomination.

With legal recognition of same-gendered marriages, churches would remain just as free to refuse to marry any same-gendered couple with or without citing religious or any other reasons for their refusal.

By contrast, recognizing only same-gendered civil unions (as opposed to both civil unions and unions of holy matrimony) would mean that clergy, regardless of the tenets of their faith, would remain FORBIDDEN from legally joining same gendered couples, according to the tenets of their faith, as that power would be reserved to State.

If allowing clergy the power to join, if they so choose, same-gendered couples, in both the eyes of God and the eyes of the law, violates separation of church and state, it follows that allowing clergy to join, if they so choose, opposite gendered couples, in both the eyes of the God and the eyes of the law, also violates separation of church and state.

In areas like mine, where options are already severely limited for opposite gendered couples, this would further limit a same-gendered couple wishing to marry to having a ceremony performed by a judge, in open court, between cases, if time allows.

Thus, same-gendered couples, in areas like mine, who could otherwise have found clergy willing to officiate their ceremonies, would be excluded from the simple rights of choosing to have a private ceremony for just family and friends, setting a specific date and time, choosing a venue for the ceremony, having music, decorations, a photographer, etc. Further, regardless of where they live or how many options they have for civil ceremonies, same-gendered couples of faith who wish to be joined in the eyes of their deity, under the tenets of their faith, would be forced to have a separate religious ceremony to do so.

Holding same-gendered marriages to the strictest interpretation of separation of church and state opens a door, through the setting of precedent, for opposite gendered marriages to be held to the same strict standards. In other words, it could be used to argue, successfully, that no clergy-performed ceremony should be recognized by the state and that only with a separate civil ceremony, should ANY marriage obtain legal recognition.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 2 -- Gay Marriage Series

<.li>Marriage is a religious institution and STATE should never have gotten into the business of marriage.

Marriage is NOT an institution of religious origins. Marriage began as a secular institution and secular marriage predates holy matrimony's addition to religious doctrine by a period of centuries.

The purpose of "marriage" (in both its secular origin and its adaptation into religious doctrine) was not to form an equal partnership or create a familial and/or loving bond between any two people or to sanction physical relations in the eyes of the state or a prudish deity, but to provide a man with a deed to his wife, children and other marital assets (slaves, livestock, tools, home, etc.) and to provide men with legal recourse should those assets be stolen from them.

Church later "got into the business of marriage" for the same reasons State had created it.

You have to remember that Church either WAS State or held governing authority higher than that of State in various societies at different points in history and antiquity. Church was thus motivated to add marriage to its doctrine not in conjunction with its role as a spiritual institution, but in conjunction with its role as a political/governing institution.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

Part 1 -- Gay Marriage Series

• "Marriage" is a religious word.

The word "Marriage" is NOT a religious word -- it is a generic word that applies equally to secular unions and religious unions. "Holy Matrimony" is the specifically religious term for marriage. "Civil Union" is the specifically secular term for marriage.

Gay Marriage -- Table of Contents

...And the dog you rode in on, Santorum!

(How did I manage to miss THIS story?!)

Santorum actually stood in front of a room full of people, spoke at length about the courage and dedication of our brave men and women who put their lives on the line in service of our great nation, then proved he has absolutely no understanding of what they go through when he asked the people in that room to do the same as our troops by slapping one of his campaign stickers on their vehicles!! He then asked them if it was too much to ask them to serve their country by putting his sticker on their cars.

Read the full story, on santorumexposed.com

I don't know about you, but my jaw is on the floor! The level of audacity, ignorance and complete lack of respect for our troops or anything they go through that Rick Santorum demonstrated in just that one call to inaction is beyond staggering!

Mr. Santorum, I dedicate this posting of my famed "Applied A Bunch Of Stickers..." parody lyrics to you. You earned it, buddy. (That's not a good thing.) Enjoy!


Applied A Bunch Of Stickers To My S.U.V.
by Melhi (Written 7-9-'05)
To the tune of Tie A Yellow Ribbon by Tony Orlando & Dawn

I do my part, I pay my dime.
Now I help to gnaw a big bite out of crime
It's due to me the P.O.W.s will soon be free!
It doesn't take much work to do -- simple as could be!

It's.. done.. ea..sil..y,

Applied a bunch of stickers to my S.U.V.
This one over here,
Stamps out H.I.V.
(H.I.V.)

This slogan, here, is fixin' our e-con-o-my,
Supportin' the troops
And veteran groups,
Ending poverty!
It's all by stickin' helpful stickers on my S.U.V!

Cure cancer, end lung disease
Win the war on terror single hand-ed-ly
Your little kid is missing? He'll be found because of me!
A simple plastic sticker's all we need to keep us free!
Achieve a lasting peace!

A pile of legislation will be his-to-ry
We'll get four more years
Cheaper gas-o-line
(Gas-o-line!)
Kids say no to drugs and it's because of me,
I've straightened the fags,
Protected my flag,
Patriotically!
And I'll convert the whole wide world to Chris-ti-an-it-y!

Will the home team's fans be cheering?
In the bag, it's guaranteed!
I've stuck their mascot's sticker on my S.U.V.!

I'll bring 'em home, mmm hmm.

(Buy a sticker for your S.U.V.
Buy a sticker for your S.U.V.
Buy a sticker for your S.U.V.

Buy a sticker for your S.U.V.
Buy a sticker for your S.U.V.
Buy a sticker for your S.U.V.)

A brief personal indulgence

Every once in awhile, some silly little something happens that makes our day. My day was made, today, by just such a silly thing.

My two favorite books are The Universal History of Numbers by Georges Ifrah and Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Today, as I was going through the stats for my Monkees site, I was surprised to find two referrals from Neil Gaiman's Journal. Sometimes, I visit some of the more surprising referral pages listed, only to discover it's some kind of mistake... that there is no link to my site. But, sure enough, about half way down the page of his June 27, 2004 entries there's evidence that for the briefest moment, Neil Gaiman, co-author of one of my two all-time favorite books, was aware of the existence of something of MINE! WOW!

Sometimes, the feeling of "I'm just one insignificant person" can really drag us down and make us question whether we can make a difference. While this whole Gaiman linking to my Monkees site thing is completely unrelated to political activism, (mine or anyone else's) discovering that link was a good reminder that one person can, indeed, stand out in a crowd of millions, even if only for the briefest of moments. Thanks for the boost, Neil. That's two I owe ya!


While I'm indulging in a rare moment of personal discourse, I'd like to share one other, even sillier, thing with you.

I don't know what I was dreaming, to have any idea as to the context, but as I woke, a few days ago, I spoke something in my final moment of dreaming, that has stayed with me, since.

"The baby boomer generation was going to be the one to cure cancer, but the guy who was going to do it got drafted and was killed in 'Nam."

My tone was as though I was regurgitating well-established facts I had long since bored of repeating ..."Two plus two equals four. Blue and yellow make green. The cure for cancer died in a rice paddie. Water freezes at 32 degrees." Very odd.

Of course, there's no deeper meaning or truth to the statement. It's just something conjured in a sleeping mind. The sobering truth of our waking reality is that we'll never know what our fallen soldiers might have gone on to accomplish.

I Wonder If It Made His Wife Cry...

Speaking yesterday at Philander Smith College in Little Rock, Arkansas, Ann Coulter said, "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee." She added, "That's just a joke, for you in the media." (Full story)


A joke, eh? (ouch!) Perhaps it was the lack of it being funny that threw us off.

You Know What Really Bugs Me?

Domestic Spying.

The Bush administration has been putting the expected spin on their illegal wiretapping, now it's O.K. for them to have ignored the law because it was (surprise, surprise!) "terrorist" surveillance.

What we don't know: How many innocent, law abiding, patriotic Americans have been subject to this surveillance and thus included in that ("terrorist") description.

Can You Dig It?

The tunnel from Mexico...

On the news reports I've seen, so far, everyone has seemed to be genuinely surprised at the discovery, not of the tunnel, itself, but of the discovery that these tunnels exist, at all. Surely, I must be misreading these reactions.

Even I could have told them tunnels between Mexico & the U.S. existed. I didn't have any knowledge of the actual tunnels and it's not like I've been going around yanking on the shirtsleeves of strangers trying to spread the word that "they're out there."

It's one of those "given" things that, if you think about it for even a split second, you just know. I assumed tunnels under the border were one of those things all of us knew had to exist. Frankly, I'd have been shocked to my socks if we'd learned that they DIDN'T exist.

Sidenote: It does confuse me that illegal immigrants are coming over and under the border in search of our jobs. Doesn't Mexico offer direct flights to Indonesia and China?

Let's Stage An Election (Parody)

To kick off this most joyous new election year, I thought I'd entertain you with a little parody ditty I wrote back in early Oct. 2004. Enjoy!

"Let's Stage An Election"
by Melhi
To the tune of "Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles


Watch the old man sing on the tube
He'll do the fad dance for their vote
With the youthful clique (Oh way, oh!)
He's younger now, quite the daddio!

If the younger man's sense of style
Is not so manly, make him flex
Girl's love his smile? (Polls say so!)
Then flash his teeth on the TV set!

Give 'em hype, get it spinnin' tight, hey!
Way oh, hey yo! Oh way, oh way, oh!
Let's stage an election!

The bald net execs, script the race
They push the polls, for the ratings score
Exciting news! (Oh way, oh!)
It pops! It zings! See the numbers soar!

All the viewers so into looks
That's how they judge who's the better man
If he's wrinkl-ing (No way, oh!)
They schedule him for inject-i-ons

Do the lids, nip and tuck his face, hey!
Way oh, hey yo! Oh way, oh way, oh!
Let's stage an election!

Make the scene on the screen, stay on track
Flex their arms, then they talk some smack
Must rock the vote (Oh way, oh!)
So strike a pose with the quarterback

Autographs to sign, photo ops
And hanging out in the union shops
Now sing and dance (Oh way, oh!)
Go with the platoon on their walk

All the "ragazines" follow them
The party boys pay to fly them in
On the radio (Oh way, oh!)
They know their lines, keep repeating them

"Mindless schlock! Someone make it stop, hey!"
Hey, no way, yo. No way, Jose` oh!
Let's stage an election...
Let's stage an election...

Happy New Year!

It's an election year (my favorite kind of year) and you know what that means. Yep, the time for finger pointing and blame-placing is officially here! Time to let those who earned it own it!

Of, by and for the people, baby! (Man, I love this country!)

It goes without saying that there's a lot at stake at the national level. But, it's vitally important that we pay equally close attention to our respective state & local issues and races. The buck may stop at the White House, but it starts its long arduous journey at home.

By the end of this new year, let's make sure we've sent the message loud and clear that this is our country, they work for us and we, the people, haven't been rendered null and void, just yet!

Happy New Year, everyone!