Chad pulled his wife Karen close... "This is it," he said. "I can't take anymore. I feel humiliated that I can't step outside these walls even though I've committed no crime."
"I feel you," Karen whined gratingly.
"Do you even know anyone who was eaten by zombies?" asked Chad.
"No, do you?"
"No." Chad let out a long angry sigh. "You know, I think this whole thing is a hoax designed to hurt our President! I bet there won't be any so called zombies after the election!"
"Funny you should mention that," Karen huffed knowingly. "I was watching a low budget documentary on Facebook, right before we lost Internet and electricity and they had an expert on there who said that doctor who was on tv purposely disagreeing with the President back when all this started had created the zombies in a lab just to hurt his re-election chances!"
Chad spit on the floor and shook his head angrily, "I knew it! I hear it's not even that bad. I mean, sure some people die from it, but it's just poor people, old people, brown people and sick people, so who cares? We're young, white, healthy and middle class! It doesn't affect us! So why do we have to stay trapped in here? Plus, did you know that more people die of the flu every year than get eaten by zombies?"Karen nodded, "Yep. And you know, Chad, I'm pretty sure we got eaten by zombies last fall and are immune now, anyway. Remember those weird marks on our skin that we woke up with after we fell asleep watching that stupid movie on Netflix? At the time, I thought they were marks from the couch cushions, but now I am sure they were bite marks."
"Oh definitely!" Chad agreed.
Her confidence restored by this much needed exchange with Chad, Karen suddenly turned toward the others, who'd been working feverishly to barricade every possible entrance, hoping to keep out the thousands of zombies closing in around them.
"You can't force us to stay here! We have our rights!! We have the right to get our hair done and to get drunk in an actual bar instead of in the liquor aisle of this god forsaken store and to demand to speak to managers inside of actual restaurants!"
Karen bolted toward the door, pulling Chad along with her. Fueled by the intensity of their rage, they pushed their exhausted co-prisoners aside and made short work of the makeshift barricade that had taken hours to assemble.
"Later bitches!!" Chad shouted triumphantly as he and Karen flipped the group double birds.
Their final "good-bye" gesture made, they flung the doors open and rushed out into the zombie swarm and were immediately descended upon by a few dozen zombies who quickly devoured them as the other zombies continued to crush forward through the open doors to devour the others.
The end.
